Coach needed. Must be truly competitive and willing to work hard for big rewards. Ability to run a disciplined, no nonsense team a must. Experience with big league southern football a plus. Perks: be adored by passionate-but-not-completely crazy fans in a supportive community (after they warm up to you); road on campus will be named for you after your first SEC championship win. Please include a resume demonstrating some degree of loyalty to previous employers, three references who can speak to your recruiting and rebuilding abilities, and five pithy sound bites appropriate for repeated broadcast. NFL coaches need not apply.
Since Muschamp has apparently turned us down (please God, don’t let us be the next USC) there aren’t any names being floated that jazz me. Rumor has it, we’re undesirable because it’s going to be a tough row to hoe, what with playing in the toughest conference with absolutely no talent (thanks Fulmer and Kiffin). But isn’t that pretty much a dream job? Yeah, it’ll be rough going at first. But if you actually build us back, you’ll be deified. A generation of children will be named after you, as will roads, buildings…anything you want. You’ll be memorialized in stadium displays and athletic center trophy cases.
More importantly, you’ll have something to be proud of. I get that if you stay at Air Force or move to USC, your job will be *easier*, but is it worth it? When you look in the mirror, what are you proud of?
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