Pick 'Ems: Why Bother Edition

Unfortunately, traveling back from the Music City Bowl (report later), holiday gatherings with friends, and packing for my trip to the Peach Bowl have precluded me from addressing the breaking news and the bowl games all ready in the books. Let's just say, the post-season has totally made up for the lackluster regular season.

It's a pity I wasn't quick enough in doing my picks, becuase I would have chosen BGSU and Nebraska. Not that the Humanitarian Bowl would have helped, but it looks like Nebraska would have come through for me.

Anyway, here's just a quick list of my remaining picks (although clearly no stock should be put in my opinions):

Armed Forces Bowl: Houston
Sun Bowl: Stanford
Texas Bowl: Missouri
Insight Bowl: Iowa State
Chick-fil-A Bowl: Tennessee
Outback Bowl: Auburn
Capital One Bowl: LSU
Gator Bowl: Florida State
Rose Bowl: Oregon
Sugar Bowl: Florida
International Bowl: South Florida
Cotton Bowl: Mississippi
PapaJohns.com Bowl: South Carolina
Liberty Bowl: Arkansas
Alamao Bowl: Michigan State
Fiesta Bowl: Boise State
Orange Bowl: Georgia Tech
GMAC Bowl: Troy
National Championship: Alabama

See you in '10!

Urban Meyer's Diary

Sure, sites like ESPN and College Football News might have more reliable reporting, but you won't get exclusives like this:


December 26, 2009 9:00 A.M.
Oh noes! I lost the SEC Championship game! And all of Ron Zook’s (ie- the good) recruits! And my bestie Tim Tebow is being forced to graduate! I’ll never be this good ever again!! I need to quit while I’m ahead. But if I just admit I’ve gone as far as I can go with Florida, that would look classy and honorable. That’s not my style….I know! I’ll whine about how stressed out I am! I’ll be a Florida martyr!!! Yay!!!!

December 26, 2009 1:00 P.M.
Everything is going as planned. Everyone feels sooooo sorry for me. I think they’re going to build a shrine to me on the fifty yard line. Yay!!!!

December 26, 2009 6:00 P.M.
Hmmph. The media is being all, “Would he be doing this if he beat Bama?” Why don’t they looooove me?

December 27, 2009 9:00 A.M.
Oh noes! The team had a good practice. Maybe they won’t be sucky after all. Maybe I could have another championship run. Then they’d name the whole state after me! But I all ready resigned! Whaaaa!

December 27, 2009 4:00 P.M.
Perfect plan. I’ll just take a year off. If the team doesn’t fall apart, I’ll come back. If they do, I’ll just stay too sick and not come back and I’ll have an untarnished reputation. Except for the whininess part. Yaaaay!

Urban Meyer Cries Uncle

Since monkeys attempting to retype Hamlet would have made better bowl picks than I did, can I at least get some mad props for predicting there was no way Urban Meyer was returning without his bestie, Tim Tebow?

Of course he should act towards his own best interests. Even though I despise the man, I give him one handed applause for doing what's best for him. I admit I get some satisfaction out of what must be the ultimate whine in college ball.

But. I am sorry to see him go. Tennessee beats Florida next year, with or without Meyer; I would much have preferred to be with. Also, Kiffin/Meyer was shaping up to be the way more awesome version of Fulmer/Spurrier. Sorry to see that plotline dropped like ABC's "Cavemen."

To further increase my football cred, I predict this: Spurrier will not return to the swamp; Bob Stoops will become the new jungle guide.

Bowl Games Are Gift Cards

Bowl games are like gift cards. They’re awesome and exciting and the recipient is full of joy. Then, he kinda forgets to spend it, and the giver might as well have eaten the cash for Christmas dinner.

Though not as financially devastating as the approximately five hundred million dollars wasted on unused gift cards, fifteen million dollars in unsold tickets is not chump change.

According to the above article, schools must guarantee a certain number of tickets. Other sources claim such practice is verboten. Whether verbalized or not, the chances for the bowls to turn a profit are their top consideration in team selection. Which is fine, yay capitalism. But please, can we call a spade a spade and stop pretending we’re rewarding on field excellence? I’m a BCS elitist and have little sympathy for small programs, but it does gall me the system so flagrantly punishes the have-nots.

Remind me to discuss the haves v have-nots and my growing annoyance with the bowl system in the future. Probably not tomorrow, as I have given my money to the bowl tyranny and will be on the road/in attendance that day. But as soon as I recover from the jolly good time I’m sure to have, I’ll go back to raging against the machine.

Merry Boxing Day

Hope y'all had a merry Christmas and got something at least half as awesome as I did.

Also on the reading menu? A spot of Clay Travis.

It Pays to Pay Attention

You probably won’t be surprised to learn that not only do I watch football, I read about it. Books, magazines, web sites, and even my competition in the blogosphere.

Right now, I most enjoy Get the Picture because it’s author and I focus on similar subjects but are almost complete foils. In this post, he rants against play off proposals in menacing manner. I don’t feel the need to rebut his every point, but I do wish to highlight this:

Sadly, I haven’t even gotten to the dumbest part of Staples’ piece. That would be his insistence that the bowls wouldn’t be hurt by being bypassed by this new tournament. For example, the Sugar Bowl would be just as happy hosting Ole Miss as it would Florida. Happier, even.
… Since they never were about determining a national champion, one would think bowl organizers and civic leaders would prefer a thrilled eight-win team (Ole Miss) over a disappointed 12-win team (Florida).
Yeah, not hosting Tim Tebow in his final game as a collegian would go over great, one would think.

Guess he missed this memo.

Meaning of the Season

My bowl picks thus far have been meaningless. Overall or against the spread, it’s all one. 1-3 to be exact. Sigh.

You know what else is meaningless? The BCS’s argument a play off would render the regular season meaningless.

I used to be completely convinced by this stance. The play off is the regular season, you see. That’s what makes it awesome.

Until I realized how little sense that makes. If the bowls are the “championship,” and regular season is the “playoff,” then where is the regular season? College ball doesn’t even have exhibition games that we can pretend is the “regular season.”

Why do we pride ourselves on skipping the regular season—the meat of any sport? Why do we exult in punishing teams that, for whatever reason, get off to a slow start? Why do we cling to a system in which last year’s performance is more important to winning it all than the current year’s?

Even if not having a regular season made sense, that would still not justify their whining about the importance of the playoff/regular season. So what if it’s meaningless? The bowls, the precious bowls we must preserve above all else, are meaningless. Unless you’re primed for a Top 5 pre-season slot and get slaughtered, there are absolutely no stakes in the bowl games. Not even winning the “championship” is all that important since it is not, for all intents and purposes, a championship game.

And yet. We watch bowls in droves. Many of us travel and even more of us watch from the comfort of our homes. Once schools let out for Christmas break, my family and friends check the schedule. “Oregon State against BYU? I don’t really care, but let’s watch. It might be a good game.” Despite the insignificance of the games, we fans bring in the all important revenue.

So how does the BCS think a play-off will diminish our enthusiasm for the regular season? Even if it did, we’d still watch. But if anything, it would provide more interest. The way the system stands now, if your team loses its first game, any championship hopes basically vanish. It’s hard to get pumped for a team that is striving for a spot in an over-commericialized bowl. With a play-off, you lose a game or two but still have a chance to play for it all. Now the drama gets going.

But above all, a play-off will be as close as we can get to settling who really is the best team in the nation. The championship will become less beauty pageant and more battle of the best. That’s something any true sports fan should want.

Pick 'Ems: Bowl Edition 1

Picking all the bowl games. Which is torture, because the first few weeks are composed almost entirely of games pitting two teams of which I know little and care less.

The Game: Wyoming v Fresno State
The Line: Bulldogs by 13
I’ll Take: Bulldogs by more
The Rationale: I’ve heard more about Fresno State. And Wyoming has a new coach. And they were worse off than UT, if you can imagine that.

The Game: UCF v Rutgers
The Line: Scarlet Knights by 4
I’ll Take: Scarlet Knights my more
The Rationale: Rutgers is complaining about exams and UCF having more time off or some such. Still, they’ve got the better program, and it’s hard to beat someone by just four.

The Game: Southern Miss v Middle Tennessee
The Line: Eagles by 6
I’ll Take: Eagles by more
The Rationale: I really want to root for my home state, but I didn’t even know the Raiders were in a bowl until I read this article about how, like, six of their current players have ever been to a bowl. Plus, isn’t Southern Miss really good in their conference?

The Game: Oregon State v BYU
The Line: Beavers by 2.5
I’ll Take: Beavers by more
The Rationale: I actually had to type two separate predictions. After all this talk about BYU being the second coming, Oregon State is favored? I was surprised. But then I reflected. Oregon State is in a real conference that’s doing well this year and certain personal policies dictating how I root for teams would preclude me from choosing the Cougars in good conscience. Don’t let me down, or you’re going on my List.

The Game: Utah v California
The Line: Bears by 2.5
I’ll Take: Bears by more
The Rationale: I think this is actually the same game as the previous pick, just with better mascots.

The Game: Marshall v Ohio
The Line: Bearcats by 4
I’ll Take: Bearcats by more
The Rationale: Isn’t Ohio at the top of their conference? And ever since I learned about the “We Are Marshall” story, everything about the Thundering Herd makes me uncomfortable.

The Game: Nevada v Southern Methodist
The Line: Wolfpack by 13
I’ll Take: Wolfpack by more
The Rationale: I shouldn’t, since it took about eight seconds for me to remember Nevada’s mascot. But I’m way out of my depth here, so I’m just going with Vegas.

The Game: Pittsburgh v North Carolina
The Line: Panthers by 2
I’ll Take: Tarheels in the upset
The Rationale: I really kinda wanted to pick Pitt, but standard policy is to pull for the southern team whenever possible (unless it’s an SEC team. Then you pull for them no matter what). Since the spread is so small, it’s possible to pick UNC. Also, I don’t have a single upset yet.

The Game: Boston College v USC
The Line: Trojans by 7
I’ll Take:Eagles in the upset
The Rationale: Sure, it’s popular to believe that USC has a win coming, or their disappointing season is motivation to be awesome in the bowl. But honestly, how pumped is mighty USC going to be about going to a December bowl?

The Game: Kentucky v Clemson
The Line: Tigers by 7.5
I’ll Take: Wildcats in the upset
The Rationale: Do these people not remember a few weeks ago when the Tigers were completely declawed by South Carolina? Kentucky is better than South Carolina. Also, I’ll be there to cheer them on in person

The Game: Texas A&M v Georgia
The Line: Bulldogs by 4
I’ll Take: Bulldogs by more
The Rationale: The SEC will trump the Big XII more than once this season.

The Game: UCLA v Temple
The Line: Bruins by 4
I’ll Take: Bruins by more
The Rationale: By even typing out the team names I’m giving this game more attention than it deserves.

The Game: Miami v Wisconsin
The Line: Hurricanes by 4.5
I’ll Take: Hurricanes by more
The Rationale: The Big 10 is a pretty bad conference most years, but especially this one.

If I don’t update for a few days, it’s not out of neglect. I’ll be spending some time in the mountains with spotty wireless, then it’s Christmas, then I’ll be on the road to my first of two bowl games. Happy holidays and see you soon.

Big 10 Dreams Big

(Thanks miss_blackbutterfly for the image.)


Adding a team to an existing conference is a lot like adding an extra fourth grade class to a school in the middle of the year—it’s a great idea with many benefits, but a logistical nightmare.

What we have to keep in mind is that conference allegiances go beyond the football field. There are other sports to consider and even (gasp!) academics. But mostly, there’s money. What the Big 10 needs is a large, state school (to jive with the existing culture) in the Midwest that will also attract copious viewers to the Big 10 Network and bring in enough revenue to not drain resources from the existing schools. Since Notre Dame will likely spurn an additional $10 million in annual revenue to maintain their “independence,” the Big 10’s dream of being a real conference is in danger of being fumbled even before the snap. Potential replacements in New England just won’t be big enough draws to justify their addition, and how will the Big XII react to Missouri’s potential flight? Are they seriously going to let TCU in because of a few hot years?

The real conundrum is much more serious. If the Big 10 manages to expand, whatever will call their conference?

Happy Birthday?

This goes to show how hardcore my family is regarding their football superstitions.

The scene: My sister’s birthday. The cake is brought out, we sing the song, she makes her wish…and only gets about a third of the candles blown out. Immediately, my grandmother shouts:

If we lose the game, it’s your fault. Did you hear that? If we lose the game, it’s your fault because you didn’t blow all those candles out!

(It was clear to all she was referring to the “Championship Game” starring Alabama.)

To stave off my sister’s extreme consternation, my uncle gently added:

Maybe she wished for Texas to win.

Mission Awards Go To...

‘Tis the season for giving out awards. I’m not keen on awards as I view them as disingenuous and self-congratulatory. However, I’ll jump on the bandwagon and pass out the Mission’s End-of-Year-Even-Though-There’s-A Lot-of-Football-to-Be-Played Awards.

1. Mark Ingram for being Alabama’s first Heisman winner, I guess. I am extremely anti-Heisman because the votes tend to be as real as a Prom Queen election. I can think of at least one other player I would have preferred to win it, but of the choices presented, I’m glad Ingram took it. If you disagree, think of it this way: nine out of ten times, the Heisman ends a player’s chance of future success.
2. Navy for beating Army. Again. As it should be.
3. All the new coaches for landing better assignments. Best of luck, even to Brian Kelly.
4. Lane Kiffin for finding the silver lining in being investigated by the SEC for recruiting violations. It’s a compliment, people.
5. One more trophy to be awarded at a later date to someone who actually impresses me.

Playoff Problem: Facts and Figures

Next, the Playoff Problem regales us with the following facts and figures.

It’s successful.
True. But not the whole story. It’s successful in the sense that BCS #1 plays BCS #2 in the last game of the post season. Where it fails is accurately ascertaining who deserves to be #1 and #2.

College football is more popular than ever.
I’ll trust their viewing statistics are accurate. However, they don’t substantiate the claim that it’s “because of the BCS.” Even if it were, would that mean football would become less popular or unpopular with the institution of a playoff? Consider: polls indicate the vast majority of college football fans favor a playoff.

Fans and players love bowls.
True, I guess. I think fans and players just love football, but why quibble? Also, a play-off does not ipso-facto eliminate bowls.

It’s fair.
No. No it’s not. I’ll admit to being an apologist for BCS conference bias and would be sorely unhappy should Boise State or TCU being in the championship game, but I will never pretend the system is fair. It’s biased toward Big Name schools and what they consider to be good match ups. Remember a few years ago when Michigan was in contention for going to the NC, but since Ohio State was #1 and those two schools had played in the regular season, Florida went instead? Sure, it was the right decision, but it wasn’t “fair.” They claim, “every team has an opportunity to earn a spot in a BCS game,” but that’s true in the sense that any kid can grow up to be president. It’s possible, but circumstances work against some teams to make it extremely unlikely.

And so they have been foiled yet again. In fact, I tire of shooting fish in a barrel. Tomorrow will be our last installment.

Hostess: A Cupcake Violation

I’ll take a break from ripping on the BCS to prognosticate on the two big stories this week.

1. UT is being reviewed for a possible secondary recruiting violation involving the Vols Hostesses. Their normal duties are showing recruits around campus on their official visits. Not attending their out-of-state high school games waving “Come to Tennessee” signs. At this point, I’m shrugging because it’s pretty clear she/they were not acting at the request of the university. But I do want to point out: this has NOTHING to do with Kiffin. Even if the university put the hostesses up to this stunt (and really, why would they send girls nearly 300 miles away to hold up handmade signs?), they are employed by the Admissions Office, not the Athletic Department. I can’t fathom why people are enjoying smearing Kiffin for this; it displays none of his characteristic brashness. I don’t even buy the NCAA is gunning for Tennessee due to his heaping of former violations in the off season. That grand total of six. Which is leaps and bounds ahead of Mississippi, who had 5, and LSU who had 4. Much ado about nothing.
2. Brian Kelly is unofficially Notre Dame’s new coach. I am bowled over from the shock.

The Playoff Problem: Front Page

The Playoff Problem starts out by asking questions that are supposed to force us to gnash our teeth in frustration before weeping in hopeless despair and begging the BCS to take from us this terribly difficult dilemma. Unfortunately, these questions have many, plausible possibilities. The following is a system whose origin has been claimed by several people, and it’s my favorite.

Who would participate?
The eleven conference champions, with five remaining teams at the top of the BCS rankings (see, you still get to keep your silly rankings).

How many automatic qualifiers?
Sixteen, but thanks for the redundancy.

What would be the criteria to qualify?
As mentioned, conference championships and BCS standings.

What would be the criteria for seedings?
BCS rankings.

Where would the games be played?
At the stadiums of the higher seeded teams. This is my favorite part. As Wetzel pointed out yesterday, what truly marks college ball from pro is the pageantry and excitement generated on campus. A playoff system is able to capitalize on that. However, the championship game should be rotated among the traditional BCS bowls.

When would the games be played?
Every other week in December and January.

If you could resolve all that would everyone be satisfied? NO!!
Like I was telling my students today, watch out for sticky words like “all” and “everyone.” Of course not everyone would be satisfied, especially you, BCS-mongers. But as Voltaire said (and listen up because this is the only time I’ll quote Voltaire): Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Is this system perfect? Of course not. Is it better than the current one? Yes. If society waits to change until we can be sure EVERYONE is happy, the best of human progress would never have occurred.

The final two paragraphs are strawmen. No one ever said we have to do eight teams and only the top eight. Clearly, there are alternatives. And the “bracket creep” (in which you start with x number of teams, that turns into y, and z, and before you know it, you have fifty-bajillion teams in the playoffs) is subject to the slippery slope logical fallacy.

Nice try, BCS. Maybe you’ll convince tomorrow with your “Facts and Figures.”

It's That Time of Year

People are complaining about the cold, Christmas music, shopping, and holiday stress.

But mostly, they’re complaining about the BCS.

There are small rumblings throughout the year, but in that lag time between the official end of the season and the start of bowl games, football fans are left without much to do besides complain about the BCS.

This year has been more intense, though. First, the BCS hired an executive director whose entire job consists of trying to convince us the bowl system isn’t asinine. Then, they hired the Ari Fleischer spin machine to do the same. Now, Texas representative Joe Barton has managed to get a bill into an FTC subcommittee that will bar any game from calling itself a “championship” unless it’s the result of a play-off.

Every year, columnists with nothing else to write about make up seeds for a hypothetical play-off, but this article from Yahoo’s Dan Wetzel has me totally sold. He also points us to the ultimate BCS apologist site. The front page reads like a parody, but the inside content has been spun like cotton candy. I suggest over the next few days, we look over the fearmongering together.

Chop Florida Off the Map

(Thanks Tenacious D for that holiday lyric and Willy Volk for the image.)

While the Gators are down in New Orleans so as not to lose the all-important twelfth conference team.

At this point, I’m boiling enough to write off the entire bowl system because of the shenanigans that state pulls. The BCS is a wretched enough system. Try explaining to a foreigner that in American football, we’re able to disregard what happens on the field and simply vote on who think is best. It’s a confusing concept to sports fans.

But then the lower tier bowls, which are bound to follow certain rules in the same way countries are bound by United Nations' actions, continue to make a mockery of an all ready weak system. Half of Florida’s bowls are not under contention. That’s because no one cares about the St. Petersburg Bowl, not even the teams playing in it (UCF and Rutgers, for the record. (Actually, Golden Knights v Scarlet Knights does hold some mascot enjoyment), and the Citrus Champs Bowl starring Miami and Wisconsin might be a decent game.

However, that means I call shenanigans on the other half.

A brief time out to explain how the bowl system works. Each bowl has a tie-in with two conferences. Each bowl also sports a certain amount of prestige. A rule of thumb is the closer to New Year’s, the better the bowl, although these days that’s not absolute. For example, the SEC tie-ins in order of desirability (which is primarily based on how much the bows pays each team for attending) are: Nokia Sugar, Capital One Citrus, Outback Hall of Fame, Chick-fil-A Peach, AT&T Cotton, AutoZone Liberty, Gaylord Hotels Music City, Petro Sun Independence, Papa John’s.com Birmingham. Though there are some further divisional tie-ins, this is the order in which each bowl selects the team that will appear in their game. They’re supposed to pick by win/loss record, with a little wiggle room (that is, if they really, really want to, they could pick an 8-4 team over a 9-3 team, but not a 7-5 over a 9-3).

Tennessee was the first to get screwed by a Florida bowl. As the runners-up in the East, they were supposed to be invited to the Outback. Auburn got the nod instead. Despite a slightly smaller payout, this actually works in UT’s favor. Playing in prime time on New Year’s Eve is way preferable in terms of national viewing audience than at 10:00a on New Year’s Day. And the Peach Bowl has a tie-in with the ACC, meaning UT will face off against VTech, which is a match-up we’ve been chomping at the bit for years, and the Hokies are a higher quality opponent than any Big 10 team that the Outback is obligated to pick (in this case, Northwestern).

What gets the goat is the reason the Outback picked the way it did. Sure, Tennessee’s been there twice in the past three years and we like to keep the teams rotating. But an even bigger reason was a bidding guarantee. The Outback went to Tennessee’s athletic director with the promise of an invite if Mike Hamilton promised to sell 30,000 tickets. Hamilton refused. Not because Vol fans won’t travel—trust me, we will-- but because IT’S AGAINST THE RULES FOR BOWLS TO DO THAT. Auburn’s AD obviously has no compunction in this department.

I’m a forgiving girl, though, so no harm, no foul.

The same cannot be said for the Kinoka Monolta Gator Bowl. They have third pick, after the ACC champion goes to a BCS bowl (ie- the Orange) and the next best team is shuffled off the Peach. Peach took Virginia Tech, so Gator should have taken 9-3 Miami. They even could have selected Boston College or UNC, both at 8-4. Instead, they scraped all the way down to barely eligible, 6-6 Florida State.

Why? Bobby Bowden, ousted FSU coach, spent time at West Virginia, the Big East team slated to play in Jacksonville. Of course it will be uber-thrilling to watch his old school beat up his current school at his last game. I’d much rather see that than an actual contest between the Mountaineers and the ‘Canes. It’s not like one of the BCS bowls has all ready been ruined by a TCU/Boise State match-up.

As against the rules as forcing a ticket guarantee, there’s no physical evidence such an event occurred. All the evidence we need to convict the Gator Bowl is right there on Wikipedia: their picking order and the conference standings. I guess they figured they could give the ACC the finger since this is the last year of their contract. Pity.

Where’s Mike Slive when you need him?

Tide Turns Tebow Tears

(Image from Facebook group "I saw Tim Tebow cry and it made me smile".)

Even though in three out of four games, the ball bounced my way and then was wrestled from my grip by the neighborhood bully at the last second, yesterday was enjoyable. The games were all exciting, bar one, and it’s just that time of year when importance ups its ante. Bama is rolling on to the title game, preventing that 3/4 nonsense Gators would have loved to flout and preventing football fans from slipping into a permanent boredom coma.

But best of all, Tebow cried. And Tebow tears are so rare, they actually cure cancer.

I’ll admit, I don’t know the guy personally. I wouldn’t want to, if his media portrayal is any reflection of his actual self. He’s a creepy idgit. Let me count the ways.

1. He’s a robotic battering ram. I remember way back his first season. Tennessee was the first team to get burned by him, but we figured, ‘No big deal. He just runs it up the middle with the force of a canon. Now that other teams have seen him do it, they’ll adjust and mitigate his effectiveness. If nothing else, he’ll be out of commission by his junior season due to all the hard knocks.’ None of that was true. He continues to shred defenses like old credit card statements, and his worst injury, a concussion that barely slowed him down, didn’t occur until the second half of this season. Maybe that indicates he’s a “machine” or “Superman,” but you know what? If I wanted to see that, I’d flip on ScyFy. What people love about sports is triumph over adversity. We love uber-talented players that, for whatever reason, experience failure but find the strength to claw back up to the top. Does anyone love Star Trek’s Data? Like, admire, respect, sure. Love? No. He ‘suffered’ one loss against Ole Miss, and the worst misfortune to befall his football career is running his last college yards on the field of a BCS bowl in New Orleans? Excuse me if I let him cry alone on that sideline bench.
2. Let’s go ahead and address the crying. It points to his immaturity. I might could forgive a few leaks at the end of this most recent defeat, because it would have been emotional (although I resent the attitude he and his teammates sported: if they just took the field, they’d be Pasadena bound). But he does it after every loss. And remember when Mississippi State almost beat them this year and he pitched that hissy and refused to talk reporters? He displays no emotional coping skills.
3. His interviews. They’re scripted out so he says all the right things. Too bad he’s utterly unconvincing.
4. The Christianity thing. Talk about it or whatever. The verse blacks make you look like a tool, but it’s a free country. However, you might want to choose your verses more carefully. John 16:33 is practically conceding the game to your opponents.
5. The good guy image. He’s working way too hard at it and reached ridiculous heights on yesterday morning’s Gameday. We were regaled with the tale of all the support Tebow throws to some high school kid that HE NEVER MET (OMG!) who died while playing receiver. What’s that support? Wearing a Livestrong bracelet. I am humbled by his humanitarianism. (I know he’s done legit things, but he hangs his hat on mission trips, which are a whole ‘nother layer of creepy. The run of the mill community service he performs are undertaken by all football players, so no special points can be awarded).
6. The Urban Meyer relationship. I honestly don’t want to cast nefarious aspersions, but I will observe the special, weepy relationship they maintain. I don’t know what’s going on there, but I’m glad it will be off my television soon.

So yeah. Much rejoicing at his hubris.

But you know my absolute favorite part? Lane Kiffin as the celebrity Gameday picker. It’s the championship game between Alabama and Florida, and there’s Tennessee’s coach breaking down the game in a most thrilling, accurate fashion while highlights of Vols beating up on the champion teams plays. It’s great to be a Tennessee Vol!

Pick 'Ems: Championship Edition

Normally I pick the games that jazz me each week. But this isn’t a normal week. This is championship week. And when I visited Dad, he showed me this super secret (but I guess not really a secret; that was just a lazy adjective to use) formula of winnings that will “mess with the BCS” and potentially pit Bama and Florida against each other in the title game. Not that pollsters would let that happen, but to really be the fly in the BCS’s ointment we need:

Alabama to barely beat Florida
Nebraska to beat Texas
Pittsburgh to beat Cincinatti
Clemson to beat Georgia Tech

So I’ll go ahead and pick ‘em that way. Which means I’m predicting three upsets.

I hope that works out for me.

More Job Vacancies

My mourning over this brutal season was premature, it turns out. The following shall be added to our graveyard, despite this not being the traditional day for such proceedings.

1. Several Georgia assisstants, to no one's shock or awe.
2. Kansas's Mangino, though it sounds like he's had it coming.
3. The entire Hofstra football program, because they're more of a lacrosse school. And it's AA/FCS, so no one really cares anyway.

Why Football Matters: Connecting With the Present

My father, like many fathers, is…reserved, shall we say. That’s not to say unloving—not in the least. He just expresses his feelings in the proto-typical masculine ways women must learn to interpret. Though his insistence I make my own decisions and fight my own battles as a teenager have done wonders for my adulthood independence and self reliance, it was difficult for the little girl who wanted to have a knight shield her every now and then. When the insecurities hit, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Does he really love me?”

That changed November 19, 2005. I was a senior in college, and ever since moving to Knoxville, the paternal side of my family had come to a game every other year or so. In 2005, for whatever reason, they secured tickets to the Vandy game.

Actually, I can speculate why they chose that game. Tennessee was having a terrible season. Going in to Thanksgiving, we were sitting at 4-5 and had to win out to get to the post-season. No worries, though. At the time, both Kentucky and Vanderbilt were rubbish and easily beatable. But when the clock hit goose eggs that afternoon, the Vols had fewer points than the ‘Dores.

I cried.

Not sobbing or sniffling. Just a few salt drops descending my wind burnt cheeks.

Dad got a look on his face I haven’t seen before or since. “I’ll never forgive them,” he said, “for making you cry.”

And he’s stuck to it. Not that it’s a song and dance at every mention of Vanderbilt, but we both know. Though last season, he did bring it up again and how much that loss hurt, not because of breaking the bowl streak or anything like that, but because he was hurt that I was hurt.

That was the most protective thing he has ever said to me. I’m confident he’s felt like that in other areas of my life, but football is what allowed him to say it. Those times I start wondering if Dad really cares, I remember that game. Painful as the loss was, what I gained was even better.

Sorry. Didn’t mean to get hippie-trippy, but the sport’s impact on my realstionships is a driving force behind my love for football.

Less dramatic example: examining my cell phone statements shows an increase of activity during ball season. That’s not to say I never call my family outside the Fall, but we’re not a phone-oriented family. Calling ‘just to say hi’ or ‘just to check in’ is awkward at best, uncomfortable at worst. But football gives us a springboard. I talk to my grandmothers every game day because we have to analyze and predict what’s going to happen. Sundays I talk to them and Dad and my friends and sometimes even my grandfathers to rehash, analyze, and (hopefully) celebrate the preceedings. Once that conversation has started, we can segue easily into personal topics. Without football, there’s no social lubricant.

It works the same with friends. There are people who have been dearer to me than anyone at certain points in my life. But we change, or circumstances change, and we drift apart. As dear as they are, we risk losing each other due to not being able to share experiences in the way we formerly did. I’ve lost some relationships that way.

But never my football friends. Communication may lag in the Spring, but there’s no feeling like getting that first victory text of the year, or the phone call ‘Just to get your opinion on the game’ that leads into general catching up. It’s an excuse to call when you don’t necessarily have anything to say and provides a base of common experiences that can prolong the relationship.

Even better, it’s an excuse to visit. My best friend from high school and I drifted apart for myriad reasons, not the least of which was I was in school on one side of the state and she on the other. We made up shortly before her wedding, but the distance and lack of things in common were still a wedge. Football brought us together in spirit, and when they moved to South Bend, the first thing she did was invite me up for a game. Perhaps it sounds callous, but a weekend drive that's seventeen hours round trip to the frozen tundra isn’t really feasible. That’s a huge time commitment, and what would we do? Sharing high school memories will only take us so far. The game was an excuse. Of course I was excited to visit her and would have had fun regardless, but the game day experience gave her a reason to invite me and for me to accept.

Were it not for football, my BFF would have gone two and a half decades without seeing the beach (I suppose that's a defense of the bowl system).

Fostering important relationships is admittedly not a function served only by college football. Not many people will become converts solely because of the relationship factor, though I know several whose entry into fandom was motivated by friendship to a die-hard. Connecting people is merely one component in the overall awesome package, but it is a pretty awesome component.