Coach Dooley, Compared

So while Lane Kiffin is confused by the meaning of “cultural fit,” Coach Dooley humbly admits, “I do feel like I’m one of the few coaches the NCAA rules and know what they mean” (emphasis added) because of his law degree.

Even better, Coach Dooley understands team dynamics. While Kiffin brags about having “the best staff in the country,” UT’s coach points out, “…every staff can't be a headliner to me to make a good staff. A staff is a team, and each member of a staff brings strengths, and each member of a staff has things that maybe they don't do as well. It's no different than assembling a football team, and so what I'm more concerned with is who wants to be here? Who is going to believe in how we're going to run our organization, and how we're going to play offense, defense and special teams? What kind of team member are they going to be? How much are they going to believe in this institution?”

I can’t wait to see these dividends pay off.

Fighting Faulkners?

When I first heard this news late last night, I was concerned. Changing an SEC mascot? These symbols have been sacrosanct from time immemorial (if we limit ourselves to the “before memory” portion of the definition). Let’s have Toucan Sam start shilling for Trix while we’re at it.

The afore-linked ESPN article cleared the issue up for me. They’re still the Rebels, just in search of an on field mascot to replace Colonel Reb, who has been banished since 2003. All school symbols get the occasional facelift, so no need for panic.

However, should Ole Miss ever decide to go with a new mascot altogether, might I suggest the Mississippi Furies?

Spring Is Almost Here

In the bleak midwinter
Frosty wind may moan
Earth stood hard as iron
Water like a stone

I’ve had that stuck in my head for two weeks, because we are in the dark, dark days with absolutely no football. For Vol fans, it looks bleaker still: our developed talent cupboard is barer than Mother Hubbard’s, we have our second untried coach in as many years, and our schedule is brutal.

Yet hold on, football fans. We are just a month away from our first Spring Game; LSU starts practicing at the end of this week, and kicks off the (I presume) Purple and Gold game on March 27th. Things really heat up on the 10th and 17th, with Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, and Vandy, then Bama Mississippi State, Ole Miss, and UT, playing respectively. We wrap up with Arkansas and Kentucky on the 24th. That’s practically a month of Saturdays just around the corner.

We can last ‘til then, yes?

Winter Doldrums

It’s been a tragic week for SEC football players, and I’m all discombobulated. I finally found some time to write, and can’t remember the super awesome idea I had. It might have been the new eye black rules (no words allowed), or various expansion proposals, or the Orange/White game is scheduled for April 17th, or the fact I just found out Bama plays Penn State this year. Or maybe it was Johnathan Crompton’s draft stock. And how did I miss the memo Skip Holtz is now at South Florida?

In short, if you were looking for my usual wit and insight…better luck next time.

SEC! SEC!

It is not my intention to provide constant Kiffin updates. However much he may think so, most of the things he says and does are not noteworthy on the national scene. In fact, this recent interview is downright boring, save two responses.

First, I think it’s hilarious he considers the means of his departure honorable. Apparently, having a thirty minute meeting with your players (which was more of a recruiting session for his new school) before a thirty second media statement with no public warning of an impending departure and leaving without informing the remains of your staff is taking the high ground. And I’ll agree, if you’re comparing yourself to Francione. But if you have any bit of moral scruples, there’s no way you can say what he said with a straight face.

But the actual reason I’m allowing him to grace my blog today is his response to the question, How do you think [the SEC] compares to the PAC-10:

Front sevens are probably better out there, and that's been the way for a long time as you study the draft. From top to bottom, the SEC is tougher. I think that is proven by records and by studying over the years.

Not even college football’s most conniving snake in the grass can deny the SEC’s superiority.

College > Pro: Loyalty

College football loyalties are like love: your feelings for your team never change and, if they do, you never really cared in the first place. By the way, I suppose it does happen, but I have never personally known someone to jump allegiances to their college team.

Loyalties for pro teams are in constant flux. I'll use me as an example because that's who I know best. In the Super Bowl I could root for the Colts (Peyton Manning) or the Saints (Robert Meachem). I root for the Giants because of Eli Manning. I used to root for the Broncos because Jay Cutler was there, but now he’s not so I’ve got no use for them. I used to really like the Ravens, but then they picked up Steve McNair, so that love stopped. I kinda want to root for the Titans, being the home team and all, but they keep drafting punks.

College fans are united by unchanging legacy and tradition. Since your players are there for, at most, five years, and the coaches are increasingly mercenary, all you have is your program and its history. Pro fans, outside of the northeast, seem more dedicated to individual players and thus construct a patchwork fandom.

That won’t keep you warm at a freezing, December game.

College > Pro: Recruiting

Yesterday’s Super Bowl reminded me of two more things I don’t like about pro ball. Today’s reason: its sense of justice is more suited to the Siberian plain than our free-wheeling democracy.

Congrats, Saints. I hope you’ve got enough healthy talent to keep you going for awhile. You won’t have a chance to reload until you hit the bottom again, since your facing last picks in the draft.

I understand parity in the league is desirable. But is giving coaches even less control over their team and forcing them into the least desirable position merely because they did what they were hired to do really the best option?

I loathe anything that punishes success and stifles creativity. Hence, I must loathe the NFL.

Hail (Mary) to the Chief: Nixon

Obama is taking criticism for many things at the moment, the least of which is probably his proposed meddling into college football. Doesn’t the leader of the free world have more important things to think about?

Perhaps, but he’s working off a historical precedent. Though I should a) not kick off another series while in the middle of another and b) write about the new series in a chronological fashion, I just learned about this incident today, so it’s what I want to write about.

1969. France’s president got ousted, man landed on the moon, and Penn State was desperate to be #1 in the polls. In those days, the bowl system was incredibly loosey-goosey, and #3 Penn State opted for the Orange Bowl before the season ended because it provided a superior vacation destination than the Cotton Bowl, where they would have faced Texas or Arkansas. Unfortunately for them, #1 Ohio State was upset by Michigan, thrusting a final game match-up of now #1 Texas against #2 Arkansas into the national spotlight. The game was so big, President Richard Nixon flew in to Arkansas specifically to see the game. In perhaps the only prescient move of his career, he brought with him a plaque to give the victors, declaring them, technically prematurely, national champions (he presented to the Longhorns, by the way).

Penn State’s coach Joe Paterno pitched a hissy fit, so Nixon offered to give them a ‘really impressive winning streak’ plaque, which Paterno refused, resulting in Penn State receiving no accolades that season. Though they beat Missouri down in Miami, Texas beat Notre Dame in the Cotton Bowl and were voted national champions.

Forty years later, Charles de Gaulle is just an airport and the moon landing is old hat compared to the photographs we regularly take of Mars. But Joe Pa is still on the sidelines of Happy Valley, and still bitter about Nixon’s intervention.

(Oh, right. Citing sources: Lion in Autumn by Frank Fitzpatrick. He's no Clay Travis, but it's fun to read about other programs that are almost as passionate as the SEC.)

Suddenly, Dooley

I read this quotation from Coach Dooley and immediately thought of “Suddenly, Seymour.” For those uninitiated in the “Little Shop of Horrors” cult, there’s this one scene where a floozy with low self esteem cries the mascara off her lashes while the nicest boy she’s ever met professes his love for her. It’s sweet and tender, and she deserves that positive attention for making it through her sordid past.

After Signing Day Coach Dooley confessed, “UT has so much to sell, so it wasn’t as hard as people think.”

After all we Vol fans have gone through in the past three seasons, and the way every bit of it has been splashed on the front pages of the media—from our embarrassing decline, the criticizing of firing Fulmer without giving him a third chance, the disdain for our hire of Kiffin, the mud he drug us through, our unceremonious dumping….it’s been rough. So thank you Coach Dooley for reminding us that we’re still Tennessee and we have so much going for us. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of it?

If anyone still doubted that Coach Dooley is exactly who we need, this should have dissolved it.

Whew. Signing Day

I imagine Coach Dooley and I feel the same right now: exhausted.

However, whereas I've been engaging in a bit of slactivism on a tiny college campus, he's brought in a Top Ten class (nine, to be exact). Three weeks on the job and all ready in the Top Ten. Yeah, I think we're on the right track.

Also, for those keeping score, half of the Top Ten slots have been claimed by SEC teams, and an additional three made it into the Top Twenty-Five, so two-thirds of our conference brought in ranked classes. It appears we've got many more championships in our future. If we can refrain from knocking each other out of contention. Sigh.

College > Pro: Responsibility

The fact that pro teams have "owners" has always squicked me out. Doesn't that violate the fourteenth amendment? Also, too many cooks in the kitchen. I can't trust a system in which the one responsible for making the decisions isn't actually allowed to, since he doesn't hold the purse strings (this is also how Broadway has been ruined, incidentally).

Many coaches have gone on record about how broken that system is. I leave you with this quotation from Pete Carroll (obviously made before he jumped ship and moved back with the Seahawks).

The biggest difference from being an N.F.L head football coach to a college one is now I'm in charge of everything, especially structure and personnel. I am responsible for everything that happens here. I love that because in the pros, it was hard to share authority in those areas yet be totally accountable.

College > Pro: Tailgating

So we all know you'll be getting gumbo at LSU and all the girls at Ole Miss will be in heels and pearls. South Carolina has that train thing, Tennessee has the Vol Navy, and Alabama has its infamous RV park. And, down South at least, it's imminently social. Each party is guaranteed to have a tv or two (or five) tuned to the day's games. Even opposing fans can wander through, check the scores, share some grub, and swap stories of games past. I loathe social interaction, yet I enjoy wandering through the mini-cities that spring up and take pleasure in the camaraderie of fandom.

It should also be mentioned college tailgaters have a preferable environment. Unlike pro stadiums that are plopped in and around major cities where everything is closed to tourist/fans on account of it being a weekend, college stadiums occupy space in the midst of campuses that open up for visitors on gameday. Arrive early to 1) get a parking space, 2) soak up the atmosphere, and 3) take advantage of the cultural offerings. College campuses are packed with sculptures, libraries, and museums to wander through and appreciate in the hours before kick off. Many even offer gameday lectures, or rather fun talks given by professors on subjects simultaneously interesting and enlightening.

Then there are the pep band performances, parades, mascots, and spiritful (not slutty) cheerleaders performing across the campus, bringing the anticipation to practically unbearable levels. That anticipation builds through the pre-game activities, the on field band performances that begin minutes before kick off, and reach apogee as the team runs through the tunnel. Whatever entrance your team chooses, whether running through a formation or down a hill or to a piped in pop song, no excitement compares to the primal cheers of a hundred thousand hopeful enthusiasts. It's a release, a collective orgasm of energy.

Though there is a similarity in structure that runs through the campuses, each is distinctive. Even if the entire fan base came dressed like mimes, no one is going to confuse being at a Notre Dame game with being at a Florida game. The experiences are utterly different.

NFL tailgating, on the other hand, is interchangeable, one parking lot just like the next, with only the only distinguishing characteristic being team colors.