Sing It Sinatra, For Music City

The referees can take a lot away from the Vols. They can take away downs, yards, and, in the end, victories. But there are so many things they can never take away.

They can't take away our entirely freshman o-line stout enough to defend our true freshman, passing quarterback. They can't take away the cherished bend but never break UT defense that's one of the youngest in the league. They can't take away the invaluable experience of surviving one of the most adversity-laden season in Vol history. As Stocker said after the game, "We'll be stronger because of this..."

They can't take away our resilience. We could have given up in October, after a 2-6 start. We didn't. We could have given up with a minute and a half left in UNC's hands. We didn't. We could have given up in overtime. We didn't. We played with all our hearts, young and underdeveloped they may be.

They can't take away our passion. In Bray's celebration of the game winning touchdown to the tears that brought him to his knees when the refs called the game,for real this time, he mirrored the reaction of all Vol fans. The stadium rocked all night with our unwavering support and enthusiasm for our team. Like Dooley said when asked if, because twice in one season a victory has been recalled after the coach's handshake, he said, "No. I'm lucky to be at Tennessee." Indeed, Vol fans know how fortunate we are to support one of the best programs in the country.

And that is what no one can ever, ever take away from us. The base, visceral thrill of watching the Orange stream through the Power T, singing "Rocky Top" all game long, whooting it up for our beloved Pride of the Southland Marching Band and their Circle Drill, letting our powerhouse past lead us into our powerhouse future, cheering and chanting along with 103,000+ in the best stadium in the country, and living by the Game Maxims. Rocky Top won't be on bottom much longer, but even if they were, I'd proudly wear my orange. Football supports our tradition, not the other way around.

I will never believe we didn't win this game. Mistakes were made, we should have played better. But with no time left on the clock, we did exactly what we needed to in order to win the game by the official NCAA rulebook: we had more points than the other team when the head official declared, "The game is over." I have a thousand words regarding the ensuing shenanigans, but none of them are positive, and you know what? I may have spent the past eighteen hours crying bitter tears of disappointment and frustration, but I have nothing but positive feelings about our future. Go Vols!

Holiday Check In

Between the last week of classes and a mountain getaway with the family, I nearly lost sight of my true purpose here: getting folks interested in college football. In my absence, one coach has been fired and half a dozen bowl games have been played. And yet, I don't feel like I've missed much.

I was, however, reminded why college football matters. Saturday night, my family and I atteneded a dinner show. Packed uncomfortably close in an auditorium more barn like than theatre after a long day of sightseeing and shopping, I felt cranky, to make an understatement. I began questioning my every decision from why I agreed to come to this hillbilly show in the first place to why I thought spinning my wheels in grad school would be a good idea.

Then the band played Rocky Top. My mood elevated instantly. I couldn't stop smiling, sang along, and shook my invisible shaker in time with the added in 'Woo!' I felt centered and absolutely blessed to be able to spend the holidays with my family. The performance may have lasted two minutes, but the effect lasted all weekend.

Will-come Wagon

I'll admit, when Will Muschamp announced he'd take on the Florida coaching job, it hurt my feelings. Never had anyone turned down the Vols, and it hurt. I don't know I'm ready for him to be so close to us.

Of course, nothing could be better for Orange Nation. Dooley is a committed class act who has done wonders with this season and appears primed to become one of the most beloved figures in UT sports. He's represented us with integrity, but had some fun on the way. Once we get over these growing pains, we'll be right back where we should be.

Florida on the other hand...here's what I know about Muschamp: he shrinks from a challenge, allows cash to speak louder than his promises, and can make a losing season out of National Championship talent. That's to say nothing of the havoc changing systems could wreak on the program and recruiting.

After this year's Florida game, I marked next year's as a win. After Urban retired for real, I had to white that out. After the Muschamp hire, I feel confident again.

So welcome to the SEC, Will. Maybe you think you know what big time football college is like, coming from Texas. We'll see if the pressure blossoms you into a Spurrier, or crushes you into a Zook.

Coaching Graveyard Update

Oh, it's been busy weeks for the undertakers. I think with this list, I'll have covered all of our recent internments:

1. Steve Roberts, formerly of Arkansas State.
2. Stan Parrish, formerly of Ball State.
3. Dan Hawkins, formerly of Colorado
4. Urban Meyer, formerly of Flordia
5. Doug Martin, formerly of Kent State
6. Rickey Bustle, formerly of ULL
7. Bill Lynch, formerly of Indiana
8. Todd Dodge, formerly of North Texas
9. Jerry Kill, formerly of Northern Illinois
10. Dave Wannstedt, formerly of Pittsburgh

Shakespearean Confessions

I have to admit this: left to my natural state, I'm a chicken fan. I've considered not attending games because I was afraid we'd lose, and I wasn't sure my heart could take it, having to be there, sitting through the whole debacle without a coloring book to ease your nerves when things get to intense, having to bear the burden of the other team's victory. It's just too much.

But I want to be supportive and never back down from a challenge. So when I get those doubting feelings, I recite Shakespeare's St. Crispan's Day speech from Henry V. That always pumps me up.

I've never been at our equivalent of Agincourt, never experienced being at a bona fide upset, though I have attended some amazing games. But on the flip side, there's something to be said for surviving our worst home loss in history (Florida 2008).

Double Shut Out

Seventy-one years ago today, UT shut out Auburn-- just like they did every other opponent that year. Yet, despite not surrendering a single point during the season and going into their bowl as the undisputed SEC champion, they were denied the national championship. I guess a loss to USC is more to blame than a vast ESPN conspiracy.

Laugh a Little Wednesday

At me, for being thick.

The Music City Bowl swag bags contain items like headphones, iTunes gift cards, an iPod. I read the list and puzzled for more minutes than I'd care to admit as to why there were so many music themed items.

Right.

Urban Meyer Retires, For Real

We're all assuming Urban Meyer took the 'no takesy backsies' oath this time, and the Florida sideline really will be prowled by someone else next year. The part of me that's ready for a Vol victory over the Gator says 'One more year, Meyer,' but the part of me that cares about the quality of the SEC says, 'Good riddance.'

I desperately want to make fun of him, crack some jokes about his cowardice. He's spineless, whiny, mealy mouthed, and, though not utterly loathsome, not someone you'd be proud of having in your corner. In many ways, his retirement is akin to a toddler's tantrum being deprived of his third helping of birthday cake. 'What? I can't go the SEC championship this year? Then I'll just go wah, wah, wah all the way home.'

And yet, much as I hate to give him any shred of credit, there is a certainy dignity in this decision. Heaven knows I wouldn't detest Fulmer with every fiber of my ninety thread count soul had he let someone else take the helm before crashing our football program straight into an iceberg. The only real mistake Urban made: last year's j/k shenanigans.

Fashion Confessions

It's so official, I got my tickets to the Music City Bowl to cheer on my Vols, aided by my BFF, my sister, and her boyfriend. It's my eighth straight Music City Bowl- I've gone every year since Auburn became the first SEC team to win there- but first one with the Vols and last one for awhile, so it's all bittersweet.

Adding to the bittersweetness is how close we came to going to the Gator. I'm not going to go into the political wrangling and how peeved I am with Slive, the Outback Bowl, and, to a lesser extent Mike Hamilton. I understand it's ludicrous to complain about where a 6-6 team ends up, especially since we jumped over Georgia, and until two weeks ago we weren't even sure we'd have a post-season. But still, it hurts a little.

However, I must confess: over the summer, I had a little niggling we might end up Nashville bound. And I thought about how bitterly cold it is every year. And so when I bought my hevy winter coat in August (for the savings, of course), I bought an orange one. Just in case. Glad that gamble paid off.

Pick 'Ems Week 14

1. SMU v Central Florida: Mustangs?

2. Troy v Florida Atlantic: Trojans?

3. Auburn v South Carolina: Gamecocks. We need the "burn" put in "Auburn."

4. Florida State v Virginia Tech: Seminoles. Tech is still on the List.

5. Connecticut v South Florida: Bulls. Huskies play basketball.

6. USC v UCLA: Bruins, just because I'd like to see that happen.

7. Nebraska v Oklahoma: Cornhuskers, just because I'd like to see that happen.

8. Oregon v Oregon State: Ducks. Duh.

9. Rutgers v West Virginia: Mountaineers, as if it matters.

10. Pittsburgh v Cincinatti: Bearcats. It's been a while since I've gotten to hex them.

Pick 'Ems Week 13: Reflection

Got: Louisville, North Carolina, Missippi State

Missed: Alabama, East Carolina, Tulsa, South Florida, Florida State, LSU, NC State

Total: 3-7. But the important thing is Tennessee had a great game against Kentucky and is going bowling.

Overall: 52-45

Laugh a Little Wednesday

Lane Kiffin, when asked why Notre Dame's leading reciever during the Irish's first defeat over the Trojans in roughly half a decade did not attend USC despite it being his "dream school," the controversial coach flatly replied, "I wasn't here."

Oh, Kiffin. Sometimes I miss you more than Bruce Pearl does.

The Coaching Graveyard Awaits

Appropriately on the heels of discussing loyalty to a program rather than a person, the first three victims carted to the Coaching Graveyard met their demise this week. I must say, I disagree with both cases, but no one consulted me before their abrupt axing. RIP:

1. Randy Shannon, immediately after his loss to USF. I hadn't realized he'd been there four years, so I can't argue it's exactly premature. Still, his ability to clean up Thug U makes me miss him all ready.

2. Robbie Caldwell, immediately before his loss to Wake Forest. The first reports made it sound like a backwoods turkey inseminator realized he wasn't a great fit for the Harvard of the South. Now it appears, it was an inexplicable force out. Face facts Vandy: until you commit to athletics by having facilities that rival your local high school's, you'll continue to be the SEC's whipping boy. It's a low move to fire a dedicated Commodore who beat a conference opponent despite having fewer than seven weeks to prepare for the opening game. 2-10 is quite respectable when you factor in what he had to work with. Just another reason to despise the Black and Gold.

3. Bill Lynch of Indiana. I don't care much about the Big Ten, but I had to stop reading when the players insisted it wasn't the coach's fault. Poor boys.

Game Review Caveat

Sometimes, I get a little excited. And I speak rashly when I get excited. To be clear, the coaching staff was excluded from my grandiloquent gushing yesterday. Not because they were irrelevant to our turnaround or didn't display the dedication of the young players, but...let's face it. Hopefully, this staff will be around longer than our Freshman players. I'm excited about that. But, there's always a danger that a coach will stay past his usefulness. My largest fear is to ever re-experience Fulmer's malaise. I am just as much a Dooley supporter as I was at his hiring, and I will be his biggest fan for as long as he deserves it. But if ever he begins making team decisions that benefit him personally rather than the program, I'll be sending letters to the AD. Coaches should put the program before the hiring of his unqualified friends, before schmoozing for the mere sake of being a local celebrity, and before tilting at windmills in a desperate, hopeless attempt to best another's coach's personal record. I am completely behind any coach and player who represents our school with sincerity and class. But at the end of the day, my loyalty lies with the Vols, not any one personality. That wishy-washiness is reserved for NFL fans.

Game Review: Kentucky v Tennessee November 27, 2010

Tennessee needed a miracle to extend their three game winning streak into a post-season bowl invitation. Miracles, however, are the terrain of gullible children reading their first fairy tales. Tennessee gave itself a gift better than any miracle. Their unflinching grit, gumption, and guts against the circumstances that placed them in a 2-6 start make a better story than anything out of Mother Goose.

They endured three coaching changes in as many years-- not that that directly affected a team attritioned to mostly true freshman and sophomores. Many were Kiffin's recruits, comitted to him days before he fled cloak-and-dagger style to the false allure of the West Coast. They slowly beganto trust a whole new staff, in many ways as young and inexperienced as them. They heard the whispered criticisms mocking them as the least talented squad in the SEC. They survived a pounding by the eventual #1 team in the nation in only their first contest against an FBS oponnent. They learned the hard way giving up never wins games. They also learned any mistake, however small, can strip your most prized victory from you. They came to trust every home week they'd have 100k+ fans cheering them on every down. They perservered through one straight month of Top Ten opponents, challenging themselves to keep the pride the bearers of Orange deserve. And, slowly as respect for the program had been lost, they gained it back, culminating in a victory during the most important Vol game of this young century.

This team could have been the Shame of the Southland. If they gave up on themselves when the rest of the country did, they could have broken the longest active win streak against one team in the nation. They could have left Michigan as the sole remaining program to never have lost more than five games in a season. They could have spent the holiday season alone, licking their wounds, and causing woes among the fanbase-- next year in Jerusalem.

Instead, they followed Dooley's inspirational leadership straight into the post-season. We will never know how deep their pain, how great their sacrifice, or how intense thier dedication over the course of this emotional season. We can only thank them by continuing to support our players.

That's not to promise any championships next year. Remember, we rejected miracle elixirs and deals with Lucifer. There will still be growing pains. But our boys have refused to be the Lost, tilled a hopeless season into the fertile ground of promise, and earned the right to our fervid support for better or worse, in sickness and in health, as long as Rocky Top is home sweet home.

A Bedlam Story

Most AFLAC trivia questions are lame and/or hoplessly obscure and thus uninteresting. They transcended both categories during today's Oklahoma/Oklahoma State game.

What year and why did this rivalry recieve the nickname Bedlam (and did I even know it was called Bedlam?)? 1904, Guthrie. Someone fumbled the ball out of the endzone. This being the early days, the safety had yet to be invented, so the ball stayed in play. And in the Cold Creek River behind the field. A mad dash ensued, Oklahoma saved the pigskin from the freezing water, and returned it for a touchdown.

Oh, those wacky early years!

Pick 'Ems Week 13

You'd think since I lost another week's predictions, I'd start backing up the file. But no. At this point, it's a victory to get them typed at all. Last try before the post-season.

1. Auburn v Alabama: The Tide, because Auburn's on my List.

2. Louisville v Rutgers: The Cardinals, because if I keep picking them they'll have to come through for me.

3. SMU v East Carolina: Pirates, because I like them better.

4. Southern Miss v Tulsa: Eagles, because they're from the south.

5. South Florida v Miami: Hurricanes, barely, because of they're longevity.

6. Florida v Florida State: Gators, because they're in the SEC.

7. LSU v Arkansas: Tigers, because why not?

8. North Carolina v Duke: Tarheels, because the other option is Duke.

9. NC State v Maryland: Wolfpack, because I'm partial to them.

10. Mississippi State v Ole Miss: Bulldogs take the Egg Bowl, because they're better.

A Thanksgiving Story

My father could not make it to Thanksgiving this year; he's in Brazil, getting married. He called of course, but international rates limit chat time. In the five or so minutes we had, he wanted to know 1) the latest about the local NFL scandal and how that game looked on Sunday, and 2) what time the UT game is so he can hopefully rustle up some internet and at least check the score. What could have been an unfocused, rushed, and stressful conversation was, thanks to football, pleasant and informative.

At an office party last night, a colleague asked me to explain this crazy passion football fans have. I mentioned how it strengthens personal relationships; this is a perfect example.

Curse of the Orange Pants

The Curse of the Orange Pants has weighed much on my mind since last season. I refer to our white jersey/orange pants combo as the Creamsicle uniform,and, indeed, it seems our talent melts every time within them. Every game after donning this uniform, message boards will be aflame with quandry: is our poor performance due to the pants?

I'd like to do a thorough researching job on this issue, but, alas, my grad school status requires me researching literary issues, not fashion ones. According to Wikipedia, Majors introduced orange pants in 1977, Fulmer 86'ed them, except 1999 v Memphis and 2008 v Cal. Kiffin brought them back full force and the UT Photo Gallery confirms he clad us in the cursed pants against Florida, Auburn (at home), Alabama, South Carolina (at home), and Ole Miss. Team Dooley donned the dreaded pants against Georgia, South Carolina, Memphis, and Vandy.

Clearly, more precise digging is required, but accroding to this data, since the Fulmer era, the Orange Pants have earned a 4-7 record; half of those wins stem from the baby-new Dooley era.

Some try to defend the Orange Pants by noting we wear orange pants at away games, thence stems the problem. I'd like to compare away in white v orange pants, and I daresay oru white pants have a better record. Remember the Clausen era when we owned away stadiums? Also, thanks to the Kiffin experiment I bet we have data to prove we've lost a disporportional amount of home games in orange pants as well.

I promise during Christmas break, I'll pursue this work further. In the meantime, the only safe course of action is to indefinitely halt the use of the Orange Pants.

Game Review: Tennessee v Vanderbilt November 20, 2010

Maybe it didn't feel like it, but last night was a win all the way around.


It was a win for the fans. After a season consisting almost entirely of blow outs, our first close, exciting game since Florida way back in September. And the ball even bounced our way this time.

It was a win for our developing players. As much fun as the occasional brutal smack down is, we need more experience closing out tighter games. We also got a slice of humble pie. Sure, it feels amazing to finally turn the corner and have a shot at making something of this season. But, it won't be handed to us. As much as the football gods owe us, we still have to prove our mettle every. single. down. Zombie programs like Vandy-- programs that have always been down and out and always will be, programs that will never be favored when playing the Vols-- contain more danger than any powerhouse like Alabama. There's still football to be played before we get our bowl bid; Kentucky wants us every bit as badly as Vandy, and is in a better position to upset us. We got our flat game out of our system; no more allowed.

It was a win for everybody because, of course, we have the all important W in the column. One more week: Go Vols!

Pick 'Ems Week 11: Reflection

How did I forget to evaluate my performance last week? Let's take a look-see.

Got: Southern Miss, Kentucky, Auburn, Arkansas, Alabama, Florida State,

Missed: Louisville, Virginia Tech, Florida, Fresno State

Total: 6-4. Fresno State betrayed, but I nailed the Florida State game.

Overall: 49-38

Laugh a Little, Wednesday

...with? at? Our good friend Spurrier discussing the veracity of his quarterback's statements.

Oh, the Powers of Predicition

I'm the Post-It Girl in the TA office. I have them all colors, all sizes, all types (notepad, traditional, flags). Each one serving a specific purpose in my study of literature. It's a system as complicated as Clawson's offensive scheme, so I'll spare the details.

While reading Washington Irving's Sketchbook in preperation for a term paper, I came across, on an opaque flag-- the sticky designated for personal reactions-- "like UT" stuck next to this quotation from "Philip of Pokanoket": Defeated, but not dismayed--crushed to the earth, but not humiliated...

Oh what a difference two months and a two game winning streak can make.

Game Review: Ole Miss v UT November 13, 2010

In the SEC,

52-14

speaks for itself.

Pick 'Ems Week 11

1. South Florida v Louisville: Remember back when the Bulls were the most amazing addition to IA ball? That didn't last long.

2. Southern Miss v Central Florida: When in doubt the SEC over anyone else, and real southern states over Florida.

3. Vanderbilt v Kentucky: Not a contest for the bottom of the East this season. I miss those days.

4. Georgia v Auburn: Tough call, since Auburn won't reveal what they're doing with Newton. The Tigers are about our last hope for as SEC national champion, so much as I want to pull for the much-hated UGA, out of loyalty to the conference, I'm going with the Tigers.

5. Virginia Tech v North Carolina: The Hokies are on my List, and I don't have a strong feeling.

6. UTEP v Arkansas: The Razorbacks, obviously.

7. Mississipp State v Alabama: I don't see Bama dropping two in a row.

8. South Carolina v Florida: The winner of this game goes to the SEC championship. No teams other than Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida have ever represented the East. I'm an elitist and want that tradition continued.

9. Clemson v Florida State: Seminoles in a close one.

10. Nevada v Fresno State: The Bulldogs have been true to me thus far.

Laugh a Little Wednesday

I know the Mad Hatter's secret strategy hit the internet last week, but I've been saving it just for today.

Pick 'Ems Week 10: Reflection

Got: Maryland, Florida, Arkansas, Ole Miss, USC, Texas Tech, Oregon

Missed: Alabama, Texas,

Disqualified: NC State, who was not playing Florida State. What is grad school doing to me?

Total: 7-2

Overall: 43-34. Although my numbers are all buggered from losing a week and this week's inexplicable non-pick. Getting back on track, though.

Game Review: Tennessee v Memphis November 7, 2010

If Mike Leach were to be today’s guest blogger, the headline would be, “Tigers Quick Start Slows Down” and concentrate on Memphis’s myriad mistakes.

But this is my blog, and I’m concentrating on the Vols capitalizing on those mistakes. On watching our future blossom like a morning glory. On putting some swagger back into our still proud program.

Keep it up boys and, more than any other month in our history, this November will truly be one to remember.

Pick 'Ems Week 10

Oh, folks, it's been a week full on non-Mission related work. And I don't know what happened to last week's pick 'ems. I made them, I posted them, I didn't realize they never showed up. But let's attempt to get back on track:

1. Maryland v Miami: Haven't the Terrapins been staying true to me?

2. Florida v Vanderbilt: The Gators will find a way.

3. Alabama v LSU: Did the Mad Hatter and Mestipholes have a falling out?

4. NC State v Florida State: The Seminoles are strong, but I've regretted picking against the Wolfpack that one time.

5. Arkansas v South Carolina: I need the Razorbacks to protect the legacy of the SEC East standings.

6. ULL v Ole Miss: Hopefully, the Rebels have grown since that first week.

7. Arizona State v USC: I can't remember Arizona State's mascot, so point to the Trojans.

8. Texas v Kansas State: Ugh. Longhorns.

9. Missouri v Texas Tech: C'mon, Tubbs, make the SEC look good.

10. Washington v Oregon: I've said it all season long- the Ducks are for real.

Game Review: UT v South Carolina October 29, 2010

We won the passing game.
We won on third down conversions.
We won time of possession.
We lost the game.

We found a quarterback.
We found a rhythm.
We found a way to contain Lattimore.
We found a way to lose.

A successful faked punt
A record breaking day for Moore
A come from behind in the fourth quarter
A just shy effort.

We won some confidence.
We found hope for the future.
A beacon shining bright
For the rest of our season.

Laugh a Little Wednesday

Although this is more a gasp of shock than a giggle of glee.

If you feared the SEC would get quiet with Kiffin's departure, rest easy. Dooley is stepping up in this comparison of the Vols to the Germans on D-Day. I'm beginning to think WWII history is required for elite level football coaches.

Pick 'Ems Week 8: Reflection

Got: Arkansas, Louisville, Clemson, Mississippi State, Miami, Arizona, Wisconsin

Missed: Cincinatti, LSU, Oklahoma

Total: 7-3. My Bearcat Curse continues, Auburn must have been drinking Holy Water, and who cares about the Big 12?

Overall: 48-32.

A Parable for Nega-Vols

No other children preceded me; for seven years I was my parents only bundle of pride and joy. I don’t remember having any strong feelings about the coming of my baby sister, but my parents told me she’d become my playmate, and that excited me. I dreamed about all the fun, sisterly things we two would do together and planned out all manners of games for us to play. Then she was born. A tiny, whiny thing that did nothing but sleep and smell funny. I waited patiently for months for her to grow up so we could do fun things together. In vain I waited. By the time she was a suitable companion for a seven year old, I was a teenager and more wrapped up in my own life than ever before. Then we became adults and besties and it all worked out, but not before some growing pains.

To explicate: when we say this is a rebuilding season, it’s true. And by rebuilding, we don’t mean replacing a few seniors like most coaches do. We mean, our previous coaches so abused the program we’re having to form bricks out of clay before we can even start rebuilding. Not only are we perhaps the youngest team ever fielded in college history, our coaches are also babies in SEC years. They will all end up being fantastic, but they need experience. More experience than half a season. The wait is painful, I know. I thought we’d be all fixed by now, even though I knew the process actually takes a few years. In order to get to the point where some people believe we need to be would take a miracle of epic proportions—a miracle outside of the ‘any-given-Saturday’ mill, one the universe has not deigned to give us. Just hunker down, send our coaches nothing but love and support through this storm, and remember it only gets better from here.

Game Review: Alabama v Tennessee October 22, 2010

Tennessee remains on track to go winless in October, as predicted. If being a Vol just meant wanting to have more points at the end of four quarters than the opponent, I’d’ve thrown in the towel by now.

Being a Vol means blessing the Sunsphere’s heart as you take the Henley Street exit; it means eating the world’s best burgers with loved ones on Market Square as other games play in the background; it means eschewing the day-to-day distractions of domestic demands to spend some much needed time in the crisp autumn air; it means hiking across campus to show a first time visitor the sites, even if he won’t appreciate them; it means allowing the optimistic orange shading every surface in sight buoy your spirits not matter how daunting the odds; it means having your pick of friends from among 100,000 strangers, if you so choose; it means admitting that even if you were against the initial plans, a bricked-over Neyland Stadium stands superior to the previous erector set edifice; it means lining the street a half hour before the Salute to the Hill and still not getting a prime location for the Sea of Orange; it means being awed every time you’re reminded Dad remembers Rocky Top before the “woo” and Grandma and Grandpa remember UT before Rocky Top at all; it means being chilled by the perfect build-up during the pre-game show, even for the fifty-fifth time; it means knowing, loving, and doing every band cheer every time; it means getting just as excited for halftime, when the Pride of the Southland earns its moniker, as you do for kick off; it means not being able to refrain from telling anyone and everyone Neyland is the sixth largest non-racing stadium in the world and the Circle Drill is “the most daring and difficult” and impressive band maneuver ever performed; it means singing the alma mater with your best friend for the first time since you became alums; it means a Vol fan never loses—whatever the scoreboard says, she’s spent the day making memories with her dearest friends and family in her favorite place on earth supporting the university that supported her so much in the crucial years of young adulthood.

Anyone who chooses to support the Vols because they want the thrill of dominant victory every game will be inevitably disappointed. But for those of us who have dedicated our time, money, and tears to our team, who come back season after season out of love for something larger than ourselves, whose fandom is inseparable from our very beings—we can only pity those with better records who will never know utter football joy.

Pick 'Ems Week 8

1. South Florida v Cincinatti: I absolutely cannot win with the Bearcats, so I'll pick them. If they win, my stats bump. If they lose, I'll take credit for cursing them.

2. Ole Miss v Arkansas: I keep picking the Razorbacks and they keep failing me. The Rebels aren't the same team that lost to a AA school, but...Arkansas should still be able to handle them.

3. Connecticut v Louisville: I'm giving the Cardinals another chance.

4. Georgia Tech v Clemson: Oh, goodness...I haven't kept up with their seasons at all. I know the Jackets have failed me at least once, but I think the Tigers made good, so I'll stick with them.

5. LSU v Auburn: The game, quite possibly, of the decade. And such a tough call. Auburn is fielding the better team, but LSU has Mestophiles on their side. Since the Black Prince is indeed allowed to rule on Earth, I'm sticking with the purple and gold Tigers.

6. UAB v Mississippi State: So long as the Bulldogs aren't still suffering from a post-victory hangover, they'll come out on top.

7. North Carolina v Miami: I'd like to pick the Tarheels, and I do detest the Canes, but I'll take them in spite of their slow run.

8. Washington v Arizona: One of these teams is surprisingly good this year, right? Arizona gets the nod due to their stronger brand.

9. Oklahoma v Missouri: I hate when the fates force me into picking a team on my List, like Oklahoma.

10. Wisconsin v Iowa: Badgers on behest of my soft spot for them.

Pick 'Ems Week 7: Reflection

Got: Indiana, Florida State, Georgia, Virginia Tech, Alabama, Fresno State

Missed: Louisville, Auburn, South Carolina, Florida

Total: 6-4. And those ones I missed- all close ones. Close enough leastaways.

Overall: 41-29. Nearly 60% accuracy, and with an SEC season like we've been having, I'm holding my head high.

In/Out

Out- Minnesota's coach whose name I've all ready forgotten. That's harsh, being fired in season res, and I kinda feel sorry for the guy, but having been in their place, I refuse to comment harshly on these decisions.

In- Bray, as quarterback for the Vols against Alabama. Supposedly. Dooley did say Bray would play before halftime, and rumors are rampant about what exactly that means. I don't know how I feel, but I've also learned about trusting the coach until he gives me a reason not to.

Season from the Twilight Zone

The past few seasons, the #1 team has held steady and the scripts have played out like they were supposed to. Alabama lost to South Carolina who then lost to Kentucky, Ohio State fell to Wisconsin, and if the SEC Tigers can't remain undefeated, we might be forced to bear the ignominy of Boise State playing for all the marbles.

Even so, I thought something was wrong, besides the officiating, during the Auburn/Arkansas game. Indeed, the 65-43 stunner now holds the record for highest-scoring non-overtime SEC game. To make matters worse, the SEC passing game is creeping up in dominancy.

Sigh. Nothing makes me feel old, conservative, and aristocratic like college football.

Pick 'Ems Week 7

1. Cincinatti v Louisville: Cardinals because the Bearcats are still on the Temp List.

2. Arkansas State v Indiana: I can't remember the Indiana mascot, so I'm tempted to go with the Indians or whatever Arkansas State is now. Since I can't remember either mascot, the nod goes to the real program.

3. Boston College v Florida State: The 'Noles haven't let me down yet, which makes me a wee bit nervous in future, but I'm sticking with them.

4. Vanderbilt v Georgia: The Bulldogs better be on a roll, now.

5. Arkansas v Auburn: Oooh, this should be a good game. And the Razorbacks should win.

6. Wake Forest v Virginia Tech: I hate to pull for the Hokies, but I bet they pull this one out.

7. South Carolina v Kentucky: I never thought I'd say this but, Gamecocks, no question.

8. Mississippi State v Florida: The Gators have been on a losing streak, and they don't take kindly to that. The Bulldogs are on the rise, but not enough to avoid the chomp.

9. Ole Miss v Alabama: The Tide will be out for blood.

10. New Mexico State v Fresno State: The Bulldogs are more of a brand than the Lobos (?).

Laugh a Little Wednsday

It's not been an uproarious week, especially in Vol Country, so take a gander at the pomp in UGA's court (and not the of--the-law kind, for once). It makes a missionary proud.

Pick 'Ems '10: Week 6 Reflection

Got: Viriginia Tech, North Carolina, Georgia Tech, Vanderbilt, Auburn, Florida State, Nevada

Missed: Alabama, Florida, Notre Dame

Total: 7-3. Still, this was Twilight Zone Week in the SEC; unbelievable games all the way around.

Overall: 35-25. That's around 58%, no? I'll take it.

Crazy Coaches

Sometimes, by which I mean after a string of losses that each pierce my soul, I reminisce about the days before I became a Vol fan. I would not trade even the hurt of one loss for all those years I spent in ignorance. Football serves too many functions for me to ever go back.

And I would miss the stage worthy personalities of our SEC coaches. There's a backstory to the Mad Hatter, surely concerning Mephistophles, that needs to be brought to light. And then Mark Richt, sporting the smuginess sunglasses ever designed (or maybe that was the contribution of the desperate smirk of unemployment),after a first half that saw an unmitigating thumping of the poor Volunteers, confessed to whichever vapid floozy romaing the sidelines that day, that he was trying to help out the refs by pointing out some things that he saw because they have a difficult job and can't see everything.

The mind boggles.

Game Review: UT v Georgia, Oct. 9, 2010

Mark Richt kept his job;
In the coming years, that can
Only help UT.

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 6

1. Central Michigan v Virginia Tech: It looks like the Hokies have, unfortunately, gotten their groove back.

2. Alabama v South Carolina: This may be the best Gamecock team in history, but I don't see any reason not pick against the Tide.

3. Clemson v North Carolina: I think the Tigers went on my Temporary List, but the Tarheels are so distracted right now. I'll pick them though, just because a Clemson win will irritate me.

4. Virginia v Georgia Tech: Wait, aren't the Jackets on my Temporary List as well? But surely the Cavaliers are mediocre as ever...

5. Eastern Michigan v Vanderbilt: This might be the Commodores easiest game of the season.

6. Auburn v Kentucky: Tigers, clearly.

7. LSU v Florida: If Tennessee's season has taught us anything, it's that both programs are way down, but the Gators are still lingering just beneath the Swamp's surface.

8. Florida State v Miami: Remember when this used to be a big game? Miami's on my List, so I'm taking the 'Noles.

9. San Jose State v Nevada: The Wolfpack (?) are awful, but at least they've made the news this season. Branding gives it to Nevada.

10. Pittsburgh v Notre Dame: Didn't the Panthers (?) pull of an upset or are much better than expected or something? And the Irish won last week, no? So they're due for a loss.

Laugh a Little, Wednesday

With Coach Dooley as we feebly try to move on (skip down to the penultimate paragraph about Cody Pope).

Pick 'Ems Week 5: Reflection

Got: Auburn, Georgia Tech, Alabama, Oregon, Notre Dame

Missed: Clemson, Kentucky, NC State, USC, Penn State

Total: 5-5. What a week, what a week. Way to go Clemson and NC State, almost coming through for me but then deciding not to. What are you-- SEC refs?

Overall: 28-22. Still getting more than I don't.

The Day After

Unorganized thoughts I have about the game:

1. I know words like "unfair" are inherently childish, but I can't help feeling it's unfair the offense's poor management gets to punish the defense. UT would not have had thirteen men on the field if LSU hadn't been scrambling around like the goobers they are, wasting a good twenty seconds before substituting. Even before the final fiasco, I thought to myself, 'There has to be some kind of rule against that,' and indeed there is. If an offense subsitutes no-huddle, they must give the defense ample time to substitute as well (but how in the world is anyone supposed to think that clearly in the final five seconds of the game?!). Some say we can't appeal because our defense was set (implying we had time to make substitutions), others say LSU substituted illegally. I'm inclined to say our players were set because some of them didn't realize there were substitutions being made because we didin't have enough time to substitute. When it first happened-- well, the background. I had a 5:30p call for work; it's flexible, so I said I'd give the game until 5:40p before I left. The clock hit goose eggs at 5:43p. I celebrated with my family for about a minute and half, got in the car, dialed my BFF, and drove half a block before he said, "It's not over." I didn't see the after-clock play, only heard my friend's reaction over the phone. At the time, I was disappointed, but picked myself up. We needed this win so badly, but I could deal with what happened. The more time goes on, the less well it sets with me. First, because Miles pulls crap like this all the time and it seems if there were any justice in the universe it would have bitten him this time. Second, it reeks of bad officiating. SEC refs are the worst in the league, and I don't trust them as far as I can throw them. Apparantly, the coaches had all ready shaken hands and were filing out. How can you throw a flag so far after the game has been won? Surely there's a statute of limitations on that.
2. To help assuage me, I remind myself there's a lot we could have done before then. We could have eaten up more clock (though we've been burned doing that as well), we could have stopped the fourth and long, we could have made our field goal. But that only makes it work. To have overcome those mistakes, to end regulation two points ahead, and to have it called back in such a ticky tacky way...it's like food poisoning that doesn't hit until two days later.
3. Congrats to all our boys for their work. We looked like contenders!
4. Congrats to our fan base. We had a great showing, especially considering the distance, the economy, and our record. Many times we were louder than the Tigers, who did not really impress me (I know, I know, it's a day game and they're incapable of being good fans unless they've had a solid twelve hours of drinking), our band was louder, and I love hearing Rocky Top sung so strongly even after our band has had to stop playing due to playclock regulations. Way to make us proud VolNation!
5. The message boards are not in a complete meltdown like I had expected, and people are being mostly positive, but the ones who are down on Dooley and so sure he'll be fired within five years should be banned from any sports-related activities until they see the light. Gah, they stick my craw. So I'll just remind myself, those of us who actually attend the games, and especially the ones who went down to Death Valley are putting in our hearts and souls.
5. It's great to be a Tennessee Vol!

Game Review: Tennessee v LSU October 2, 2010

This loss breaks my heart. Not for me; I, personally, could slough it off, it being the ticky-tackiest loss I've ever witnessed, and I've witnessed every blasted one since 2001. Forcing a superior team into as many mistakes as the Tigers made, converting the third downs that stymied us even last week, proving at last we do have a balanced game, and playing full steam until goose eggs tell me the future is almost here. Vastly superior teams have succumbed to a fate appropriate for the moniker Death Valley; we didn't even warrant a trip to the hospital. My heart-- seeing from the stands eye view how far we've come since the Fulmer years-- cannot break for that.

My heart does break for the boys. Every game has been emotional, and this one moreso than any other. To come inches within an upset after giving all their young, inexperienced selves are capable of and to walk away with another half-telling L in the column--I want to sen each player a postcard brimming with my utter excitement and faith in each and every one of them.

Obviously, we have much work to do and losses are not acceptable, but I hope our boys-- and fans-- embrace what we have accomplished on our way to what we will accomplish.

What's Wrong with Ole Miss?

So in the midst of this Kentucky/Ole Miss game-- a game the Rebels are still in as far as the first quarter goes-- I began contemplating what their problem is. Granted, they're sitting at 2-2, but losses to Vandy and Jacksonville State? My mind wandered to the update I recieved regarding their mascot search, and it all clicked.

College ball is all about, to put it crassly, brand. Name recogintion garnered by a combination of success and tradition. One's mascot is indelibly tied up with that tradition, and without a mascot, Nutt is steering a rudderless ship. I predict next season-- or whenever they've set their new mascot in place-- the Rebels will be back to being their normal, mediocre selves.

Just cross your fingers they choose the Land Sharks, just so we can all figure out what the heck that is.

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 5

1. Louisiana Monroe v Auburn: No brainer.

2. Miami v Clemson: Ooh, a bit of a toughie, but I hate the Canes more than the Tigers.

3. Kentucky v Ole Miss: I can't insert worst-in-their-division-joke becuase the Wildcats actually aren't.

4. Virginia Tech v NC State: Every time I pick against the Wolfpack, it ends in tears. Sure, the Hokies are out to prove they are not the worst team east of Vandy, but I don't think they'll succeed.

5. Georgia Tech v Wake Forest: I really, really wanna pick the Jackets. And they can't lose every game this season, can they?

6. Florida v Alabama: The Tide rolling helps the Vols, and they need all of that they can get.

7. Washington v USC: I don't forsee the Trojans losing this gimme.

8. Stanford v Oregon: Yeah, the Christmas trees are good, just not as good as the Ducks.

9. Penn State v Iowa: Nittany Lions, on account of brand recognition.

10. Notre Dame v Boston College: The Irish aren't going to be that bad, are they?

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 4 Reflection

Got: Michigan, Maryland, Auburn, LSU, Oklahoma, Florida State

Missed: Georgia Tech, Kentucky, Arkansas, Oregon State

Total: 6-4

Overall: 23-17. So NC State is for real, Georgia Tech is not, and Cincinatti might make a comeback. Alabama's going to suffer a surprise upset, and Kentucky is not as good as advertised.

Laugh a Little Wednesday

But first, apologies. Contrary to what may be believed, the UAB game totally jazzed me. First, this would be a trap game for any team; a smaller program sandwiched between an emotional loss and an upcoming conference contest. Second, the lack of our use of the run game made clear Dooley was not employing a real game plan; we were working on the pass to make us more balanced going into SEC competition. Thirdly, how can you be heartened by the fact we went against a more talented, deeper team that beat us on paper but the W goes in our column? Our season is not over yet.

Anyway, I think the Onion was going for humor but actually hit truth. For example, I have actually worked the Tennessee/Kentucky rivalry into one of my Shakespeare papers.

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 4

Tech week and approach of grad school mid-terms is not a happy combination for blogging. Just getting these picks posted (mea culpa for missing the Miami game) is an accomplishment.

1. Bowling Green v Michigan: Needs this pick explaining?

2. Florida International v Maryland: See above.

3. NC State v Georgia Tech: This is a toughie. The Wolfpack has the momentum, the Jackets have the program. That gives them the edge.

4. Kentucky v Florida: Though that doesn't bode well for our shot at them.

5. South Carolina v Auburn: I just want the Gamecocks knocked from the top of the east.

6. Alabama v Arkansas: Alabama's not going to run the table this season, and right now the Razorbacks look like they'll put up the most resistance.

7. West Virginia v LSU: SEC, of course.

8. Oregon State v Boise State: They're one of my favorite little western schools.

9. Oklahoma v Cincinatti: The Bearcats are on my list, and thus inelgible for picking.

10. Wake Forest v Florida State: Why wouldn't I?

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 3 Reflection

Got: Arizona, Stanford, Auburn, Florida State, Alabama, Arkansas

Missed: NC State, UNLV, LSU, Ole Miss

Total: 6-4. The NC State fiasco made me feel like a sell out. Never picking outside my rooting interests again. Except I probably will.

Overall: 17-13. Gettin' my groove back.

We Are All Spartans

You probabbly don't know Michigan State is my favorite non-Southern team, and there gutsy overtime win over Notre Dame instantly becmae one of my favorite games ever. Coach Dantonio has done amazing things with the program, but perhaps at a price. Mere hours after the victory that catapulted them to #25, he suffered a heart attack. The damange is minimal and he's expected to recover, but his offensive cooridinator has taken over indefinitely. Please keep all those affected in your thoughts.

Game Review: Florida v Tennessee- September 18 2010

Before the game, I could be found deep in conversation with my dear old roommate. Like true SEC fans, we’d all ready dissected every aspect of our game and moved on to the national scene. I declared it would be best if Arkansas beat Georgia, but a Bulldog victory could easily be spun in the SEC’s favor. “Why aren’t you a commentator for ESPN?” he wondered.

Four hours later, as I sat sobbing in the endzone to the Pride of the Soutland’s strains of the Tennessee Waltz, I knew why.

The loss itself, like a noble death, had no sting. I’ve been cheering for the Vols for nearly a decade and have sat through them all: close losses and blowouts, last second losses and those in which the game need not have continued after halftime, ugly losses and moral victories. A type of loss I haven’t suffered does not exist, and, until today, only two have actually induced me to tears.

I could blame the onset of sun poisoning, but I won’t. I’ll admit to being moved by a long, emotional game in which we came so close and found ourselves wanting, yet again. But unlike so many past losses, this loss does not indicate a painful descent into mediocrity but rather a slow rise into superiority. My entire Volunteer life has been tainted by the word “rebuilding;” only this year has it been true. For the first time, the future is an exciting opportunity and not a maelstrom of inevitable underachievement. My tears intermixed the salt of disappointment with the water of reasonable optimism.

I could also harp on our mistakes and the many weaknesses we have that scare me, but I won’t. An open wound needs a suture, not a scalpel. There are more than enough threads to stitch up our wounded pride.

Our D is stout and disinclined to surrender many first downs. Our offensive line is the best we’ve ever had when one considers it has no returning starters. Our quarterback becomes more accurate with every pass and has finally learned sometimes QB’s are more like garbage men—you just need to throw it away. Our field goal kicker earns three points every time it’s asked of him, including at a record long. We faced our second Top Ten team in as many weeks, and took them down to the final six minutes. Even after that, we all—players and fans alike—bared our hearts as if the game were still in our grasp.

After the game, as is customary, the teams shook and huddled on the field. Florida left the field to the jubilation of Gator fans just as the Pride struck up Rocky Top. Not even the cheers of the victor could drown out Tennessee’s voice. To paraphrase a former coach: we will never hear the naysayers; Rocky Top’s playing too loud.

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 3

2. Arkansas v Georgia: Arkansas is supposed to be good this year and even though that has become meaningless this season, it never pains be to root against the Bulldogs.

3. Vanderbilt v Ole Miss: Oh wow. Battle between the two worst teams in the SEC? Vandy will always be Vandy, so the edge goes to the Rebels.

4. Alabama v Duke: If the Tide can beat Penn State without Ingraham, I'm sure they can beat Duke with Ingraham.

5. BYU v Florida State: BYU has the hype, but I loath BYU. After two disastrous Cincinatti picks, I'm sticking with my rooting interests, so I pick the Seminoles.

6. Clemson v Auburn: SEC all the way.

7. Mississippi State v LSU: The Bulldogs almost came through for me last week, and is LSU any better than Auburn? This is a difficult pick, but if I stay true to myself, I'm going with the Bulldogs.

8. Wake Forest v Stanford: My gut reaction is to always pick against a California school. But we saw how Stanford stuck it to me last week, and I need the PAC-10 to be for real this year. Get to it, Christams Trees.

9. UNLV v Idaho: I can't believe I'm having to pick this one. The Bulldogs because I wrote prejudicial things about Idaho in my book.

10. Iowa v Arizona: See the Stanford game.

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 3.A

1. Cincinnati v. NC State: I love the Wolfpack but have watched enough of their games to know falling apart is their favorite thing.

Oh, Laugh a Little

1. At Boise State and their season opening "quality win."

2. At these men discussing fashion and superstition like housewives.

3. At Fulmer's delusion, because if you don't, you'll start crying (your last few years only winning nine was "an act of terror"? Like those two losing seasons that finally cost you your "job" which I only put in quotations because I've seen pizza delivery boys that cared more about their work than you did. Basking in the glow of your single national championship and reiterating pathetic excuses for underachievement season after season does not dedication make. Dedication strives for excellence, not complacency. And where do you get off ragging on Dooley's failure to change the culture? 1. He's been here, what, seven months? It took you "a heckuva" lot longer to drive our program in the ground. 2. If you'd been doing your job, this wouldn't have happened. This is your fault. And we know you don't want us to be successful and rip away what little reputation you have left. I can't wait until we're back and you're just a footnote in our history. Wait, this one turned out not so funny).

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 2 Reflection

Got: Ohio State, Alabama, LSU

Missed: Mississippi State, Notre Dame, Colorado State, UCLA, Georgia Tech, Georgia

Total: 3-7. The State Bulldogs almost came through for me, but UGA was a total fail. No tears shed of Notre Dame's defeat, because- hey, the Irish losing always makes for a good day. How bad must Colorado State be for them to get creamed by Nevada? And since when is Stanford good enough to be ranked? What a week.

Overall: 11-9. This is what I get for actually going to a game every week; I'm not able to scope out everyone else.

Game Review: Oregon v UT- Sept 11 2010

Any true southerner saw the conspiracy as it unfolded. The unranked, destitute Vols controlling the best team out of the PAC-10 threatened the much-anticipated humiliating season for the once premiere team. So the refs did what they could do: they began calling phantom personal fouls against the home team and ignored blatant ones by the Ducks. They allowed Oregon to ignore a punt returner’s halo and committed other such crimes in the eyes of fans. Great teams overcome bad calls. Tennessee is not a great team. Yet.

They looked it in the first half. They made breaks, forced turnovers, and capitalized on scoring opportunities. Not even the rain so severe officials suspended the game and evacuated the bleachers dampened anyone’s spirits. We fans, huddled together on Neyland’s ramps, kept in cheering practice by chanting “I say it’s great. To be. A Tennesse Vol” and pretending lightening bolts were touchdowns. We eavesdropped on the lucky few who managed to get cell service and thus checked the score and weather reports. We gawked at two popular Oregon fans donning shirts proclaiming: We hate Kiffin, too.

After the seventy minute impromptu tailgate party, the game resumed. Never have a fanbase and team been so in sync. For months, we had heard the Ducks brush off the hostile environment Neyland can create; the fans wanted to make Oregon respect our stadium. For months, we had heard how inferior our team is to every other team in the nation; the players wanted to make Oregon respect our game. Both parties proved their worth in the first three quarters. The stadium was raucous, causing several miscues and pre-play penalties. The team responded in kind, making huge stops against Oregon and prolonging drives past anything we thought possible. The game may have been slowly slipping away, but our spirits were not.

Then the Pick Six happened. We all tried to believe we could come back from a thirteen point deficit, but reality paraded itself on the field. Their offensive line outweighed our inexperienced defensive line by an average of twenty-three pounds per player. Their well stocked offensive line tete-a-teted with our offensive line—the offensive line with zero returning starters. Rookies make mistakes. They stare down receivers, try to force great plays rather than wrapping up a good play, misrun routes. Most importantly, rookies don’t know how to respond adversity. As fatigue set in, mental mistakes increased and morale decreased. The game’s narrative transformed from respect for hanging with one of the nation’s top teams to the pre-determined script of failure.

But is it really failure? Lost in the point differential’s gulf is the fact Tennessee exceeded everyone’s expectations. We fell apart due to inexperience, something time and coaching can easily resolve. A loss early in the season is worth every heartbreaking moment if the team can learn from their superior opponent.

Kudzu grows up to a foot a day. No one likes kudzu. Consider instead, the orange tree, which takes about three years to bear fruit. Mark your calendars.

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 2

2. Georgia v South Carolina: No current information is available on them, so we'll go with the old: in the past decase, Richt has had modest success and Spurrier hasn't had any.

3. Georgia Tech v Kansas: No compelling reason not to go with the southern team.

4. Florida State v Oklahoma: Oklahoma has the hype, the Seminoles have...a new coach? It pains me, but I'll give the Sooners the nod.

5. LSU v Vanderbilt: however awful LSU is supposed to be there, surely they can beat the Commies.

6. Penn State v Alabama: The Tide better roll; represent the S-E-C!

7. Stanford v UCLA: I'm all ready down one this week, so I'll take the safe bet.

8. Colorado State v Nevada: The Rams (?), as if anyone cares.

9. Miami v Ohio State: The Buckeyes are too highly rated; Miami is full of thugs. Jim Tressel kind of looks like my Dad; I hate the Big Ten. I'll let them take this one and hope for an in-conference implosion.

10. Michigan v Notre Dame: I hate the Wolverines; I hate the Irish. Has Michigan done anything since losing to Appy State? The Irish are on a good roll. But is there any way to bear their bragging and the media hype, should they win? Michigan would be nearly as bad, though. So I'll go with my gut, though this should in no way be considered an endorsement.

Hie Thee...

...to find out when the replay is if you didn't see tonight's West Virginia/Marshall match-up. Great game-- as long as you're not rooting for either team.

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 2.A

Auburn v. Mississippi State: Oooh, a toughie. Knee jerk is to go with Auburn because of recent history and all. The Bulldogs had a convincing win over Memphis, which trumps Auburn's victory of whatever little school they played. I hate State because of their cowbell nonsense, so could I root for "cowbell" as my formerly football challenged friend calls them? Especially in their own stadium? I'm going to live bold and say yes.

High Bronco Update

Turns out the "play anyone, anywhere, anytime" meme that is Boise State's only possible saving grace, is a complete lie. It's not just ego that makes real programs snub a home-and-home requirement. If you don't understand why a non-AQ school doesn't get to make demands, then you don't understand college ball economics. Perhaps I'll school you on that if I find the time. In the meantime, I'm fully comfortable putting Boise State on my List (of programs I despise and will root for under only the extremest of circumstances).

On My High Bronco

I'm about to say something that will rackle the haunches of any Boise State (or any weak conference) fans: Boise State didn't win. Viriginia Tech lost. Neither team looked good, but the Hokies wrapped up the first quarter and gave it to the Broncos like the Hare stepping aside for the Tortoise. Had Boise State had such a rough start, would they have the fortitude to take the lead? More than likely, we won't know since they don't have another decent team on their schedule. In the past five seasons, they've played five real teams (and please note, were soundly beaten by their SEC opponent. Represent, UGA!). It's easy to rake in those premiere wins when you have all summer to prepare for that one team, since, after that game, your schedule is a cakewalk. You don't have to worry about injuries depleting your depth, or sandwich games between big rivals, or any of the usual wear and tear competitors in real conferences deal with. There premiere wins are even less impressive when one considers every few years, real teams have an embarrassing hiccup against a vastly inferior opponent; might not Boise be that hiccup in some of these cases?

I admit, I feel sorry for Boise State. The American in me admires their scrappy spirit. It sucks their stuck in a weak conference. But my pity doesn't give them a pass. There are too many outstanding teams with just as much moxie and more difficult schedules. A team should never be rewarded for a weak schedule; Boise State in the national championship game will be the final nail in college football's coffin.

Picke 'Ems 10: Week 1 Reflection

Got: Minnesota, South Carolina, LSU, Mississippi State, Clemson, Kentucky, Georgia, Florida

Missed: TCU, Cincinnatti

Total: 8-2, one of which I knew I was going to lose. Both of my losses are far outside my welkin, so I’m not feeling too bad.

Overall: 8-2. I’ll take that start.

What You Missed: Martin v. UT

If you weren't blessed enough to be in Neyland for Saturday's game, you might have seen:

• The team’s sideline are on the opposite side of the stadium this year, so as the team ran through the T, the live Smokey instinctively started running the wrong way.
• Also, it was Smokey’s birthday, so we sang Happy Birthday to him once during the second and once during the third quarter.
• During one of his many costume changes, mascot Smokey came out dressed like Flava Flav.
• Non-spirit band songs: Livin’ on a Prayer during the second quarter (they started this one during ’06, and it has an appropriate chorus for our program now. I can’t wait until that changes). Sweet Caroline during the second quarter (which was hilarious, because the only part we know is “Sweet Caroline, oh-oh-oh” so there’s this pretty music punctuated by occasional spurts of drunk voices). Will You Be My Girl in the fourth quarter (they’ve been doing this one for several seasons). I’m not counting Ironman because it’s not a sing-along and we have the choreographed shaker movements that make it a cheer. I think they only played it once, anyway. There was also that classical instrumental that’s played in the Heidi animated movie during the storm during the fourth quarter. Halftime was their lame West Side Story show.

Game Review: Martin v. UT 9-4-10

I could start by moaning about the fear our underdeveloped offense strikes in my heart. I could start by praising the hope our stalwart defense instills in me. I could even—miracle of miracles—pontificate over the best special teams UT has fielded this century. What is most striking in our fifty point victory over Martin is not the product on the field but the culture of change Dooley promised. The student paper included, next to an ad proclaiming its product “The best thing to happen to Knoxville since Lane Kiffin left,” a quotation from Coach Dooley claiming the Power T could stand for tradition. Tonight was entirely about reclaiming our Tradition of Excellence.

The changes start upon entering the shadow of Neyland Stadium. Gone is the ‘70’s era erector set; in is a classic brick style monument, that admittedly won’t feel complete until the end of September, when the double-life size statue of General Neyland is unveiled. Even the fans comprising the waves in the Sea of Orange don an upgrade celebrating our tradition: the official game day shirt displays the lyrics of our official fight song, Down the Field, on the back. The souvenir cup did not feature our new coach’s smirking mug (like last year) but a photo of the iconic Run through the T with the caption Tennessee Football: Unrivaled Tradition. That tradition continued, of course, with the pre-game festivities. From the quirky (the announcer promoting the available concessions, imploring the crowd to “Pay these prices, and Please. Pay. NO. MORE!”), to the sentimental (the presentation of a former Vol on the field while highlights from his career play on the JumboTron) and awe inspiring (one cannot know what passion means unless they have experienced the Pride’s nearly unchanged pre-game march, culminating with “Stars and Stripes” while the crowd excitedly begins murmuring “Here it comes, here it comes” just before the Split T, unveiling our beloved team). Neyland’s Maxims flashed on side marquees throughout the game. Even our snazzy new JumboTron displayed a moving video history of Volunteer football. All these touches were much appreciated by the 99,123 faithful packed in the stadium, not as a nostalgic yearning-for-the-past way, but as a reminder: this is where we come from, this is who we are. Whatever leadership complacency of recent years has affected the current loss of national respect, nothing can upend us from our roots, and there is no better privilege than being a part of the University of Tennessee.

Winning the game also brought us back to our foundation. We adhered to all seven of General Neyland’s maxims. We won not by shock and awe trickery, but pounding away with near perfect execution of defensive fundamentals.

More importantly, the boys played the way a Volunteer should. Even from the tippy top of our steep stadium, I could feel their hunger. They were a team determined to exceed expectations. Not the expectations of the fans, desperate for a season to be proud of after the nightmarish past five years. They were determined to meet the expectations they have put on themselves, as a team, as players proud to wear the Orange and White, as boys ready to do right by themselves, their school, and their program. Their conviction radiated from every sinew of their well-conditioned bodies.

A program’s season is decided in the final minute of its first game. Here you will see how your team will stand up to adversity or carry itself in victory. The scene for the final minute of the Martin game: in the previous series, Martin had gotten into scoring position for the first time and missed their field goal. UT put together a drive with its second and third stringers, poised with a first and ten from the Skyhawk fifteen. Last year’s coach would have gone for the jugular, missing one final touchdown by seconds, then trashed his team’s effort on Sunday morning. Coach Dooley lined the offense up in the Victory formation and ran the clock out. He accomplished the evening’s goal, and that was enough.

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 1

3. Miami (Ohio) v. Florida: I've got no love for the Gators but must face reality.

4. ULL v. Georgia: I've got even less love for the Bulldogs, but reality is even more of a factor here.

5. Kentucky v. Louisville: The Cardinals have been sliding and the Wildcats have been rising. I'll give the benefit of the doubt to the SEC.

6. North Texas v. Clemson: Toughie. I hate Clemson and everything in Texas. Still, the ACC is the SEC Lite and get the call.

7. Memphis v. Mississippi State: Oooh. Memphis is scrappier than most give them credit for, and the Bulldogs are still a question mark. Benefit goes to the SEC.

8. LSU v. North Carolina: This was supposed to be the premiere event, what with the Tigers being coached by the time management impaired Les Miles and the Tarheels hailing from a real conference. Then UNC got themselves in a heap of trouble and no one knows what to think. So I won't betray my SEC brethern, however corn-doggy they might smell.

9. Cincinnati v. Fresno State: Don't know anything about these teams, but Cincinnati is supposed to be tops, so I'll take them.

10. Oregon State v. TCU: My head knows TCU wins, but I despise them, so I'll be pulling (hence picking) the Beavers.

UnforSeen Complications

Turns out, the trouble with ditching a storied program after just one year have lasting effects. The lasting heckling his ethics have taken are just the tip of the iceberg. When your reaction to each of your first victories sound nearly identical, it seems less honest reflection on your coaching and more posturing by faux humility.

Pick 'Ems 10: Week 1.A

1. Minnesota v. MTSU: The Gophers are coming to Murfreesboro? Really? I'd love to pick the home/southern/school that half my family obtained advanced degrees from, but I've been to a Minnesota game, and they won. Maybe that's happened to me twice.

2. Southern Miss v. South Carolina: I have very little respect for the Gamecocks' on field product generally speaking, but the SEC always beats a non-BCS (that's posturing, not a literal fact. Exceptions exist, I'm sure).

Pick 'Em Rules

My pick 'ems system last year was a mess, but I can't remember why it didn't work, so this year will not be an improvement. Here's the way it works:

1. I'll visit my favorite schedule site.
2. I'll pick the first ten games available for viewing in my home that pit an FBS team against an FBS team, with at least one team residing in the southeast region. In the event these restrictions include fewer than ten games, I'll open picking to any FBS v. FBS game, starting with the last broadcast game and moving up through the schedule until ten games have been picked.
3. I will not pick a UT game. I think I bent that rule last year, and it made me feel icky.
4. Picks will be posted the day before/morning of the game(s).

Not a perfect system, but I don't want to pick just the top ten every week, or just SEC or what have you. We'll see how this goes.

Ramblings from a Commercialized Campus

Today marked my first day of class/work at a non-FBS university. It's a little weird, since this campus is big into school spirit, but it's this totally made-up spirit since our lower tier, FCS school doesn't have any legendary sports history, particularly in football. It's a nice change of pace, I suppose, but not something I'm used to.

I'm strolling across campus and notice a girl sporting an Alabama t-shirt and hat. It reminded me how at UT, I always chafed at people wearing other schools' apparel, especially if it were a D-1 school. From the start, I had a fierce loyalty to my school. Sure, it started with the football team, but that was just an initial attraction, seeing a stranger across a crowded room. Once you get to know the object of your lust, you find all sorts of great things about him/her and love the complete person, not just that one attribute the caught your eye. When I say, "I love UT," it's taken to mean the football team, but my affections really do run deeper. I'm proud of our athletics, but also of the education I recieved, our campus/facilities, our research. The whole package. Seeing Alabama gear sported on "my" campus would have risen my gall.

I had no such feelings on my new campus. I'm excited about being here and really looking forward to the work I'll be doing. I'll even admit there's a tighter feeling of community here than at UT. I'm sincerely happy here. But it doesn't bother me to see other schools' logos on campus. I'm even part of the problem. I've obtained some clothing in the school colors (thought not specifically school-oriented), the notebook where I keep my thesis scrawlings is UT merchandise. I even intend to wear orange and white on Fridays.

I wondered to myself, 'What's the difference? Why am I engaging in the traitor-like bhevaior I despised during my time at UT?' I think it has to do with the commercialization. In this context, the girl's shirt and my notebook-- they're not symbolic of the entire institution, but serve to identify us as fans of a particular team. Thinking back to seeing college gear in non-academic contexts, such as on a cruise ship, I never think, 'Oh, he's wearing a Florida shirt. He must be a satisfied product of their university.' I think, 'Uggh. The poor guy is a Florida fan. How embarrassing for him.'

To think along another track: My thesis notebook. I bought it because a) it was cheap, b) it makes me happy because c) I identify and enjoy being a Vols fan. That was a football based decision. On the other hand (literally): my class ring. I purchased it my final year of undergrad. Instead of my birthstone, I chose an orange stone with the Power T emblazoned over it. To me, that symbolizes my entire university experience. In fact, when I look at it, the first thing I usually think of is Humanities Plaza or Presidential Courtyard. Football rarely enters the equation at all, even though it has the exact elements of my notebook.

I recognize this is not my most eloquent post by far. I haven't yet figured out what any of this really means. But I did want to catch these few moments between classes to explore these thoughts. I'd never considered how one symbol could stand for two completely polarized ideas (in this case, academics v. athletics).

List Updates

1. I could have sworn I had a somewhat recent post listing all the schools currently under investigation- USC, Tennessee, and someone or two else. I can't find that list, but if I ever do, I'll add UNC and South Carolina.

2. Remember Bitter-Bits? Bobby Bowden just invited himself to the table.

The Orange Lining

I'm going to ignore the implications this report has for college football as a whole, because Vol fans are desperate for some good news.

Everything about college football is getting bigger, and that includes expenses. Coupled with a still sagging economy and those much touted television contracts (an issue that's overlooked when it comes to factoring in declining ticket sales, in my opinion), only fourteen FBS schools turned a profit last year, according to the NCAA. To the legion haters out there, who cannot contain their glee the third largest non-racing stadium in the world, hasn't been sold out every game in recent seasons, Tennessee was on that elite list. Hallelujah good news, and go Vols!

(Alabama, Florida, Texas, Ohio State, and Missouri have also been confirmed.)

Football Bureau of Investigation

While celebrating good times with the family yesterday, I missed this enticing headline from ESPN. Being thorougly Southern in my football attitudes, this was better than Christmas morning twice in a row. What glorious plots had the Bear cooked up to attract the attention of the FBI? Was there actually some secret Roll Tide Revolution in place, ready to steamroll the nation and garner U of A automatic national championships every year from here to eternity? Or something even more nefarious?

The story turned out to be like the Christmas where Santa claims you're too difficult to shop for and just gets you socks and bargain bin books you've never wanted to read. Something about a civil rights lawsuit was the cause of all the brouhaha that never was. But, oh, what dreams I had in the nano-seconds it took the page to load.

Hell Hath No Fury

Former Vol Coach Johnny Majors, who is my friend by way of being my enemy's enemy, offers an explanation for the mattress burning rage upon Lane Kiffin's departure. It wasn't just the one and done, it wasn't just his absolutely horrific timing (though in hindsight, perhaps better than Vanderbilt's Bobby Johnson's). According to Majors, Tennessee has never been jilted by a coach; either our coaches have retired, or we have broken up with them. Not only were we stood up for the first time ever, we were stood up by a smooth talking West Coaster from whom we should have known better. Oh, the hurt, it stings, it stings.

However, I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my assessment of Kiffin. In the same radio interview, Majors spoke highly of Kiffin's coaching abilities. I'll admit I still respect what he was able to do with our players and what I'm sure he'll do with USC. He's a good coach. Unfortunately, he's smug, weasely tactics will alienate him from even the most ardent supporters and ruin him. Pity. In the meantime, his antics provide hours of entertainment to us Vol fans no longer chained to that.

Dreamboat Alert: Brantley

I wonder why this article doesn't include a single photo without Florida quarterback John Brantley's helmet on. He's a cutie, especially compared to his predecessor.

General Neyland's Maxims

Though I was the first passenger on the Lane Train when Kiffin came to Tennessee, and- truth be told- I'm still hanging out on the back platform, I wasn't thrilled with his neglect of tradition (other than beating Florida, which he failed to do). Tennessee is just about the most traditional school in the nation, so snubbing them is like going to London and not seeing the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. It's who we are, and that must be respected by our fearless leader.

Happily, Coach Dooley gets that. Rumor has it, he's re-implementing Neyland' maxims before each game.

Timeout for those that don't know our beloved Neyland (and that's Neyland like your knee; neigh is for horses). General Neyland is to Tennessee what the Bear is to Alabama, even if the Bear never beat Neyland on the field. He is our most revered coach, was an actual general, and lends him name to the third largest non-racing stadium in the world. One attribute that made him a great was his commitment to the maxims; follow them, he believed, and victory will follow you. Since his time, our players have repeated them together in the locker room before every game. Most years, they're played on the Jumbotron so the fans can join in as well. I really hope that comes back, because it's incredibly special to meditate on winning principles with 101,000 of your spirited friends.

Not to share with the world our secrets to success, but here are his famous maxims, near and dear to every Vol heart (text courtesy of volnation.com).

General Neyland's 7 Maxims

1. The team that makes the fewest mistakes will win.

2. Play for and make the breaks and when one comes your way - SCORE.

3. If at first the game - or the breaks - go against you, don't let up... put on more steam.

4. Protect our kickers, our QB, our lead and our ball game.

5. Ball, oskie, cover, block, cut and slice, pursue and gang tackle... for this is the WINNING EDGE.

6. Press the kicking game. Here is where the breaks are made.

7. Carry the fight to our opponent and keep it there for 60 minutes.

Program Profile: Louisiana State

since 1893 (SEC)
Colors: Purple and Gold
Mascot: Tigers

First, we have to talk about Death Valley (Clemson’s claim to the name are tenuous; it's universally accepted as one of the scariest places to play. More than 90,000 crazy fans (some much more so than necessary. Their fans are known as among the more virulent, shall we say, and police escorts are absolutely imperative for visiting teams and bands) commonly raise the noise level in excess of 120 decibels (ie- prolonged exposure to intense LSU games may cause hearing loss). And we all know the story from 1988 against Auburn when a winning Tiger TD was scored in the final seconds prompting cheers that registered on the Geology Department’s seismograph. There was the “Bluegrass Miracle” in 2002 when the ranked Tigers beat unranked Kentucky by a last second 75-yard Hail Mary. A live mascot, misspelling “Go” to reflect the Cajun atmosphere, distinctive tailgating featuring jambalaya instead of barbecue, a healthy pre-game show, playing “Chinese Bandits” after turnovers, distinctive goal posts…LSU has a lot going for it.

But there are chinks in the armor. Most notably, who can they call a rival? Originally they battled Tulane for the “Tiger Rag”, but Tulane left the SEC. LSU next turned to Mississippi, but the Rebels dumped them for Mississippi State. None of the in state schools are in LSU’s league, so they turned to Texas A&M. But with two years left in the contract, LSU broke it to schedule weaker out of conference teams; A&M refused to have anything to do with LSU when they came crawling back. So LSU remains single, or rather, latches on to every team it hasn’t burned bridges with. That includes all the teams in the SEC West that begin with “A”.

And there’s the part where they think too much of themselves. Like WalMart dealing with its suppliers, LSU strongholds the schedulers insisting they get a night game because Heaven forbid they participate in give and take like every other team in the nation. They also have a tendency to over smugness, even when it is not deserved. And there’s the fact they’re down the list with Florida in regards to gracious fans. There’s a lot to dislike about them. But they won the NC in 2003 and are competitors for it every year, which helps the SEC, so I won’t completely dispel them.

Mike the Fightin’ Tiger is the face of LSU, but he’s also a nod to the past. The state’s confederate brigade was known as the “Louisiana Tiger”. Cha-ching. I got nothing on Purple and Gold, though.

Program Profile: Kent State

Since 1983 (MAC)
Colors: Navy Blue and Gold
Mascot: Golden Flashes

Not a lot to say about this are-they-really-FBS-school. They play Akron for the “Wagon Wheel”. Sorry Flash fans, but they’re nothing more than fodder from the MAC with no change of status in sight.

The students voted on Golden Flashes, which is kind of boring. But here’s the story behind Navy Blue and Gold: the colors were originally purple and orange, but they faded in the wash. Wave your colors proud, Golden Flashes.

Wednesday Funnies

I don't know which is more humorous: Mike Slive's tongue-in-cheek advocation of a post-season free-for-all, or Urban Meyer's touching mandate ordering all his assistants to get physicals.

Banned Bites

1. Boise State coach has banned players from posting to their Twitter accounts during the season.
2. Steve Spurrier has banned undedicated quarterback play from the field.
3. Urban Meyer has banned "internet people" and "scumbags" from his practices.
3. Lane Kiffin has banned any sense of reality from his world.

Off the Top of My Head...

...the following programs are under the NCAA's watchful Sauron eye:

1. Tennessee (courtesy of Lane Kiffin; no infractions committed since Dooley's arrival)
2. West Virginia (courtesy of Rich Rodriguez)
3. Michigan (courtesy of Rich Rodriguez; see a pattern?)
4. Miami (maybe. I didn't read the article, but I'm wanting to say I saw a headline to that effect.)

Am I missing anyone?

Hurry Up, October 2nd

Baseball fans often support the superiority of their sport by pointing out a miserable loss one night is quickly avenged the next, due to the series tradition of playing the same team almost endlessly each week. And there's something to be said for a system that doesn't allow ugly losses to fester into full-fledged mental disorders.

"I can't stop thinking about it," receiver Chris Rainey said. "I think about it every day. ... We got embarrassed. We looked like a high school team out there. And every time they show the video, it's like, 'Dang, was that us for real?'"

That's less Swamp Fever and more Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Their thirst for revenge and Alabama's pre-season top spot is just one more reason this might be the best season yet.

(PS- God bless Chris Low for including Tennessee on the list of Florida's difficult road games. That was sweet.)

Program Profile: Kansas State

Since 1896 (Big 12)
Colors: Royal Purple
Mascot: Wildcats

In nearly a century of play, the Jayhawks had won only three hundred games. Things turned around with a vengeance in 1991. Since then they’ve appeared in eleven consecutive bowls, had six top-ten finishes, and even passed through a season unscathed. This century hasn’t been quite so kind, but you can’t sneeze at them yet.

In 1969 the music building burned down and they lost all the sheet music there, except the Wabash Cannonball, which was in the band director’s briefcase. So that Saturday they played nothing but the Wabash Cannonball. “Every man a Wildcat” used to be a popular slogan, but the feminists killed it in the ‘70’s, so they’re stuck with more generic slogans like, “Purple Pride”. They play Kansas in the “Sunflower Showdown”. Apparently they also have a “Harley Day” every season in which people can ride motorcycles around the field. Classy. And if you, like Kevin Federline, feel like the full name is too much, shorten it to K-State.

The origin of the symbols isnt' half as exciting as Harley Day. A coach just picked Willie the Wildcat and a special committee picked Royal Purple. Exciting, huh?

Program Profile: Iowa State

Since 1892 (Big Ten)
Colors: Cardinal and Gold
Mascot: Cyclone

A middlin’ Big Twelve team. But its supporters are willing to risk life and limb. The stadium is named after Jack Trice who played his first game in 1923. The opponent was Minnesota, and he suffered a broken collarbone toward the beginning of the game. He continued to play, but another hit killed him. In 2005 a tornado touched down the day of the Buffalo game; the Cyclones appropriately ended up winning that game. Then there was the time in 1959 when the field phones were tested before the Missouri game, and it turned out the teams could hear each other. The problem was fixed before game time, but since then the winner of the game has received the Telephone Trophy. ISU is behind in the Cy-Hawk trophy series against instate rival Iowa. But that’s ok when you’ve got something pretty as the All-American Grove, a walk of three hundred trees honoring past student athletes.

So this is one of those teams that has a double mascot. Visually, they’re represented by Cy, a Cardinal. But their actual mascot is the Cyclone. See, in 1895 there were more cyclones than usual in Iowa. That same year, ISU upset Northwestern, so the next day’s headline was “Struck by a Cyclone.” Cardinal and Gold, however, has no story.

Program Profile: Indiana

Big Ten (since 1887)
Colors: Cream and Crimson
Mascot: Hoosiers

Here’s a team that doesn’t do much of anything on the field, although they do fight for such classy items as the Old Brass Spittoon and the Old Oaken Bucket (against Michigan State and Purdue, respectively). They’ve got no personality or anything to set them apart them apart from the lovable losers. And they touch a big ol’ rock, just like the Clemson folks. And Lee Corso used to coach them. No wonder no one cares.

In fact, no one cares so much they can’t figure out what a Hoosier is. The best anyone can tell is it’s a folklore term. Equally, no excuses are made for the choice of Cream and Crimson.

Don't Let the Door Hit You

Generally speaking, I don't keep up with recruiting and transfers ping my radar to an even lesser extent. But the Bryce Brown saga has been avoidable in my great state. He was supposedly the number one high shcool recruit last year, and Lane Kiffin nabbed him on behalf of the Vols. Then Kiffin split, and Brown has apparantly spent the past six months being emo about it (at least, that's the impression that's stuck with me from the various media I've scanned about the subject and have no desire to try to find and source). In a move worthy of his never-to-be coach, Brown texted Dooley asking for release. Dooley declined, quoting his three point test for granting such requests, which Brown presumably failed on the third point of character/integrity. This has caused Daddy Brown, who one might suspect of trying to control this whole thing from the word go, is pitching fits. Yawn.

Now, I don't know anything about granting releases and what a program gains or loses from their handling of the situation. I do know I don't like it when the integrity of our program is unfairly impugned, especially when one tries to use Kiffin as a moral pillar. Although it's gotta sting to be told "No need to come back."

Bitter-bits

1. Lane Kiffin, in his contintual quest to commit flagrant violations and still smell sweet as a Rose Bowl, contests the coach-poaching lawsuit is matter of geography, not integrity. Because a USC alum coaching a Houston NFL franchise in middle Tennessee is concerned about your actions concerning a college team on the east side. It doesn't matter, though, because (according to Kiffin, Fisher has all ready forgiven him, even if the Titans coach can't admit it publicly. Nice try. (Also, I love you continue to be weasely like this, even if no one else does.)

2. There will never be any love lost between Idaho and Boise State. Late last year, the Idaho athletic director refused to board a plane due to its orange and blue decor. Now Boise State president has gone on record as saying Vandal football culture is "nasty and inebriated." In his defense, he was pushed over the edge by an Idaho student newspaper article entitled "Reasons to Hate Boise State." Though this would make the future of the in-state rivalry mildly exciting to outsiders, Boise State has decided they're too high and mighty to travel to Moscow every other year. It's always sad to see the loss of such feisty foes. Of course, even if they continue annual contests after the Broncos move to the Mountain West, it'll still be a loss for Idaho (oh burn).

3. This is further proof Yankees don't know nothing about college football. To those of us somehow surviving the insufferable Southern heatwave, it seems ridiculous anyone could be jealous of our weather. But playing a Big Ten championship in December could prove problematic in non-domed stadiums. We all know "The weather is part of the game" is code for "Oh God, when will I be old enough to retire in Florida?", but I must respond to his aggressive posturing, "This isn't SEC football." You're right, sir, you're right. In the SEC, we know football weather is cool, crisp, and perfect for all day tailgating. More to the point, SEC football is entertaining.

Troubles Keep Rolling In

Daily reports of student athlete legal troubles roll out like Krispy Kremes on a Saturday morning, eagerly devoured by rival fans then mostly forgotten. But as Geogia's AD reminded us, it's not just the players that can land themselves in hot water during the hottest days of summer. Yesterday afforded us a "stop the doughnut line" moment when Tennessee Titans NFL coach Jeff Fisher he would be suing Lane Kiffin and USC for malicious interference of a contract. Apparantly the NFL is just as strict as the NCAA when it comes to courting, and Kiffin did not procure express written consent to come calling on the Titans former assisstant coach. Fisher, a USC alum, is asking for a jury trial. Wouldn't that provide the state of Tennessee with gossip for years to come?

In related news, the Tennessee coaching regime change looks increasingly like a spaghetti Western. While black-hatted Kiffin can't keep himself out of trouble if his livlihood depended on it, Dooley's white hat is blinding small children. The two adjectives invariably attatched to his actions, whether it be doling out punishments to unruly players or doling out soundbites to the press at SEC Media Days, are dignity and class.

This tale of two coaches has just begun...

Program Profile: Georgia Institute of Technology

Since 1892 (ACC)
Colors: Black and Gold
Mascot: Yellow Jackets

Now here’s a team I can get behind. So old it remembers the days of 110 yard TD runs, uncontroversial for a major player, and just some fun things going on. You’re talking about a team that beat someone 222-0 in a game where neither team gained a first down (it was against Cumberland in 1916, but whatever). What other team could restore a Model A Ford, call it a “Ramblin’ Wreck”, and use it as a mascot? They blow a steam whistle after touchdowns, the student section is called the “Swarm”, and they sing a beer commercial (“Here Comes the King”) between the third and fourth quarters. Does it get any better?

Um, yeah. They also play football. They’re a consistent 7-5 or so, peaking at 9-5 in 2006. They also have “Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate” for the University of Georgia. The winner of the yearly match-up wins the Governor’s Cup, but most importantly, bragging rights. This is a rivalry so hot they can’t even agree how many times it’s been played. 101 according to Tech, 99 according to UGA. Personally, I’d trust the engineers. They tend to better at math than the liberal arts folks.

This is one of those schools that has two fight songs. “Up With the White and Gold” is the official fight song, but “Ramblin’ Wreck from Georgia Tech” is equally acceptable. The mascot/color story is a little convoluted. Way back when, the Tech students decided to go en masse to the Auburn/Georgia game to root for Auburn. Classy. They wanted to be distinguished from everyone else, so they all wore White and Gold to the game. And it stuck. So they derived their mascot Buzz the Yellow Jacket from the colors. However, if you put the Ramblin’ Wreck on your exam, points will not be deducted.

Program Profile: Florida State

1955 (ACC)
Colors: Garnet and Gold
Mascot: Seminoles

Were this to be written last century, FSU would hardly need an entry. They won nearly 90% of their games in the 1990’s claiming two NCs in that time frame. They also set all sorts of records for wins and top poll finishes and blah blah blah. I mean, I hate to legitimize some of this because it’s all so biased, but even I have to admit it’s mildly impressive for a team to be ranked #1 every week from pre-season through the national championship; in 1999 they became the only team to ever achieve this. And that doesn’t include conference championships.

But this means little nowadays. Oh sure, there’s a slight glimmer of recognition, but it’s like remembering France used to be good at fighting wars. The century peaked for them in 2003 with 10 wins and has steadily fallen, reaching a low of 7 in 2006. Luckily, the Seminoles don’t play just for national glory. They fight for the Jefferson-Eppes Trophy against Virginia, the Governer’s Cup in the “Sunshine Showdown” against Florida, and the Florida Cup- a three way competition involving the traditional Florida powerhouses (UF, FSU, UM).

And win or lose, they do put on a good show. I find the war chant and chop officially called “massacre” (incidentally introduced at an Auburn game the year I was born…truly all of football revolves around the SEC) and the flaming arrow obnoxious, but that’s just because I hate Florida State. It’s kind of cool and definitely intimidating and that’s what football’s about. And to add to the creepiness factor, the stadium even has a “Sod Cemetary.” After really important away games, the ‘Noles take a piece of grass from the field and bury it in theirs. They probably do virgin sacrifices at the full moon, too. Whatever. They have real traditions rooted in history. I give them credit for that.

Lee Corso- ESPN’s most entertaining analyst- played for them. So did Deion Sanders who is now an NFL commentator. But the only thing you really need to know is the University of Tennessee totally beat them for the first ever BCS National Championship.

They have one of the most famous mascots in football: Chief Osceoloa a Seminole who rides on his horse Renegade. The connection is pretty clear: Seminoles used to live in Florida. What’s not so clear is the connection with Garnet and Gold. It’s a little complicated. Back near the turn of the century FSU was Florida State College and the football team won a championship wearing purple and gold. In 1905, the women came in, kicked the men out (the boys went to school in Gainesville), and changed the colors to crimson (see folks, girls shouldn’t go to college. Crimson is not more than one color). So then the administration took advantage of the art department and combined purple and crimson and come up with garnet. Whew.