Rest in Cheering

I was in mourning yesterday over the sudden death of UGA VII, otherwise known as Loren’s Best. His demise was due to a heart condition, known in the non-medical world as embarrassment.

I apologize. I should not mock the passing of one sport’s ugliest and most spoiled mascots. Seriously, his portable, sidelined doghouse has better climate control than my apartment.


It’s in the passing of their mascots that the Bulldogs betray their British roots. UGA VII will be entombed in the Sanford Stadium’s mausoleum, next to his father, who is beside his own father, who is beside his own father, and so on. But the identity of UGA VIII remains unknown. An interim mascot will take the sideline for the season’s final game, but UGA’s owner’s daughter assures us, “There’s lineage out there we can depend on in unforeseen circumstances such as this.”

What circumstances? Either UGA VII contributed his genes to a litter with an oldest male pup, or he didn’t. Unless, as often happens with royals, there was some philandering on the side and the paternity of his offspring is in question. Or perhaps there’s an illegitimate claimant who has a solid case for the title. Or….

Ok, perhaps he really just doesn’t have any heirs. But then, who is next in line? His nephew? Or…gasp…could we have our first female UGA?

While I’m left to ponder the complexities of a mascot’s line of succession, I’ll leave you with this delightfully droll remembrance from his owner, Sonny Seiler:

“UGA was not as active or mischevious as his father but more distinguished. He realized his role when he put his shirt on. He was well-behaved and understood the importance of his role.” (Translation: I don’t have any awesome stories about him like I do UGA V, he has no distinctions like UGA VI, and he was pretty unsuited to representing the rabid passion of our fans. He was the Queen Jane of mascots.)