Ramblings from a Commercialized Campus

Today marked my first day of class/work at a non-FBS university. It's a little weird, since this campus is big into school spirit, but it's this totally made-up spirit since our lower tier, FCS school doesn't have any legendary sports history, particularly in football. It's a nice change of pace, I suppose, but not something I'm used to.

I'm strolling across campus and notice a girl sporting an Alabama t-shirt and hat. It reminded me how at UT, I always chafed at people wearing other schools' apparel, especially if it were a D-1 school. From the start, I had a fierce loyalty to my school. Sure, it started with the football team, but that was just an initial attraction, seeing a stranger across a crowded room. Once you get to know the object of your lust, you find all sorts of great things about him/her and love the complete person, not just that one attribute the caught your eye. When I say, "I love UT," it's taken to mean the football team, but my affections really do run deeper. I'm proud of our athletics, but also of the education I recieved, our campus/facilities, our research. The whole package. Seeing Alabama gear sported on "my" campus would have risen my gall.

I had no such feelings on my new campus. I'm excited about being here and really looking forward to the work I'll be doing. I'll even admit there's a tighter feeling of community here than at UT. I'm sincerely happy here. But it doesn't bother me to see other schools' logos on campus. I'm even part of the problem. I've obtained some clothing in the school colors (thought not specifically school-oriented), the notebook where I keep my thesis scrawlings is UT merchandise. I even intend to wear orange and white on Fridays.

I wondered to myself, 'What's the difference? Why am I engaging in the traitor-like bhevaior I despised during my time at UT?' I think it has to do with the commercialization. In this context, the girl's shirt and my notebook-- they're not symbolic of the entire institution, but serve to identify us as fans of a particular team. Thinking back to seeing college gear in non-academic contexts, such as on a cruise ship, I never think, 'Oh, he's wearing a Florida shirt. He must be a satisfied product of their university.' I think, 'Uggh. The poor guy is a Florida fan. How embarrassing for him.'

To think along another track: My thesis notebook. I bought it because a) it was cheap, b) it makes me happy because c) I identify and enjoy being a Vols fan. That was a football based decision. On the other hand (literally): my class ring. I purchased it my final year of undergrad. Instead of my birthstone, I chose an orange stone with the Power T emblazoned over it. To me, that symbolizes my entire university experience. In fact, when I look at it, the first thing I usually think of is Humanities Plaza or Presidential Courtyard. Football rarely enters the equation at all, even though it has the exact elements of my notebook.

I recognize this is not my most eloquent post by far. I haven't yet figured out what any of this really means. But I did want to catch these few moments between classes to explore these thoughts. I'd never considered how one symbol could stand for two completely polarized ideas (in this case, academics v. athletics).

List Updates

1. I could have sworn I had a somewhat recent post listing all the schools currently under investigation- USC, Tennessee, and someone or two else. I can't find that list, but if I ever do, I'll add UNC and South Carolina.

2. Remember Bitter-Bits? Bobby Bowden just invited himself to the table.

The Orange Lining

I'm going to ignore the implications this report has for college football as a whole, because Vol fans are desperate for some good news.

Everything about college football is getting bigger, and that includes expenses. Coupled with a still sagging economy and those much touted television contracts (an issue that's overlooked when it comes to factoring in declining ticket sales, in my opinion), only fourteen FBS schools turned a profit last year, according to the NCAA. To the legion haters out there, who cannot contain their glee the third largest non-racing stadium in the world, hasn't been sold out every game in recent seasons, Tennessee was on that elite list. Hallelujah good news, and go Vols!

(Alabama, Florida, Texas, Ohio State, and Missouri have also been confirmed.)

Football Bureau of Investigation

While celebrating good times with the family yesterday, I missed this enticing headline from ESPN. Being thorougly Southern in my football attitudes, this was better than Christmas morning twice in a row. What glorious plots had the Bear cooked up to attract the attention of the FBI? Was there actually some secret Roll Tide Revolution in place, ready to steamroll the nation and garner U of A automatic national championships every year from here to eternity? Or something even more nefarious?

The story turned out to be like the Christmas where Santa claims you're too difficult to shop for and just gets you socks and bargain bin books you've never wanted to read. Something about a civil rights lawsuit was the cause of all the brouhaha that never was. But, oh, what dreams I had in the nano-seconds it took the page to load.

Hell Hath No Fury

Former Vol Coach Johnny Majors, who is my friend by way of being my enemy's enemy, offers an explanation for the mattress burning rage upon Lane Kiffin's departure. It wasn't just the one and done, it wasn't just his absolutely horrific timing (though in hindsight, perhaps better than Vanderbilt's Bobby Johnson's). According to Majors, Tennessee has never been jilted by a coach; either our coaches have retired, or we have broken up with them. Not only were we stood up for the first time ever, we were stood up by a smooth talking West Coaster from whom we should have known better. Oh, the hurt, it stings, it stings.

However, I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my assessment of Kiffin. In the same radio interview, Majors spoke highly of Kiffin's coaching abilities. I'll admit I still respect what he was able to do with our players and what I'm sure he'll do with USC. He's a good coach. Unfortunately, he's smug, weasely tactics will alienate him from even the most ardent supporters and ruin him. Pity. In the meantime, his antics provide hours of entertainment to us Vol fans no longer chained to that.

Dreamboat Alert: Brantley

I wonder why this article doesn't include a single photo without Florida quarterback John Brantley's helmet on. He's a cutie, especially compared to his predecessor.

General Neyland's Maxims

Though I was the first passenger on the Lane Train when Kiffin came to Tennessee, and- truth be told- I'm still hanging out on the back platform, I wasn't thrilled with his neglect of tradition (other than beating Florida, which he failed to do). Tennessee is just about the most traditional school in the nation, so snubbing them is like going to London and not seeing the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. It's who we are, and that must be respected by our fearless leader.

Happily, Coach Dooley gets that. Rumor has it, he's re-implementing Neyland' maxims before each game.

Timeout for those that don't know our beloved Neyland (and that's Neyland like your knee; neigh is for horses). General Neyland is to Tennessee what the Bear is to Alabama, even if the Bear never beat Neyland on the field. He is our most revered coach, was an actual general, and lends him name to the third largest non-racing stadium in the world. One attribute that made him a great was his commitment to the maxims; follow them, he believed, and victory will follow you. Since his time, our players have repeated them together in the locker room before every game. Most years, they're played on the Jumbotron so the fans can join in as well. I really hope that comes back, because it's incredibly special to meditate on winning principles with 101,000 of your spirited friends.

Not to share with the world our secrets to success, but here are his famous maxims, near and dear to every Vol heart (text courtesy of volnation.com).

General Neyland's 7 Maxims

1. The team that makes the fewest mistakes will win.

2. Play for and make the breaks and when one comes your way - SCORE.

3. If at first the game - or the breaks - go against you, don't let up... put on more steam.

4. Protect our kickers, our QB, our lead and our ball game.

5. Ball, oskie, cover, block, cut and slice, pursue and gang tackle... for this is the WINNING EDGE.

6. Press the kicking game. Here is where the breaks are made.

7. Carry the fight to our opponent and keep it there for 60 minutes.

Program Profile: Louisiana State

since 1893 (SEC)
Colors: Purple and Gold
Mascot: Tigers

First, we have to talk about Death Valley (Clemson’s claim to the name are tenuous; it's universally accepted as one of the scariest places to play. More than 90,000 crazy fans (some much more so than necessary. Their fans are known as among the more virulent, shall we say, and police escorts are absolutely imperative for visiting teams and bands) commonly raise the noise level in excess of 120 decibels (ie- prolonged exposure to intense LSU games may cause hearing loss). And we all know the story from 1988 against Auburn when a winning Tiger TD was scored in the final seconds prompting cheers that registered on the Geology Department’s seismograph. There was the “Bluegrass Miracle” in 2002 when the ranked Tigers beat unranked Kentucky by a last second 75-yard Hail Mary. A live mascot, misspelling “Go” to reflect the Cajun atmosphere, distinctive tailgating featuring jambalaya instead of barbecue, a healthy pre-game show, playing “Chinese Bandits” after turnovers, distinctive goal posts…LSU has a lot going for it.

But there are chinks in the armor. Most notably, who can they call a rival? Originally they battled Tulane for the “Tiger Rag”, but Tulane left the SEC. LSU next turned to Mississippi, but the Rebels dumped them for Mississippi State. None of the in state schools are in LSU’s league, so they turned to Texas A&M. But with two years left in the contract, LSU broke it to schedule weaker out of conference teams; A&M refused to have anything to do with LSU when they came crawling back. So LSU remains single, or rather, latches on to every team it hasn’t burned bridges with. That includes all the teams in the SEC West that begin with “A”.

And there’s the part where they think too much of themselves. Like WalMart dealing with its suppliers, LSU strongholds the schedulers insisting they get a night game because Heaven forbid they participate in give and take like every other team in the nation. They also have a tendency to over smugness, even when it is not deserved. And there’s the fact they’re down the list with Florida in regards to gracious fans. There’s a lot to dislike about them. But they won the NC in 2003 and are competitors for it every year, which helps the SEC, so I won’t completely dispel them.

Mike the Fightin’ Tiger is the face of LSU, but he’s also a nod to the past. The state’s confederate brigade was known as the “Louisiana Tiger”. Cha-ching. I got nothing on Purple and Gold, though.

Program Profile: Kent State

Since 1983 (MAC)
Colors: Navy Blue and Gold
Mascot: Golden Flashes

Not a lot to say about this are-they-really-FBS-school. They play Akron for the “Wagon Wheel”. Sorry Flash fans, but they’re nothing more than fodder from the MAC with no change of status in sight.

The students voted on Golden Flashes, which is kind of boring. But here’s the story behind Navy Blue and Gold: the colors were originally purple and orange, but they faded in the wash. Wave your colors proud, Golden Flashes.

Wednesday Funnies

I don't know which is more humorous: Mike Slive's tongue-in-cheek advocation of a post-season free-for-all, or Urban Meyer's touching mandate ordering all his assistants to get physicals.

Banned Bites

1. Boise State coach has banned players from posting to their Twitter accounts during the season.
2. Steve Spurrier has banned undedicated quarterback play from the field.
3. Urban Meyer has banned "internet people" and "scumbags" from his practices.
3. Lane Kiffin has banned any sense of reality from his world.

Off the Top of My Head...

...the following programs are under the NCAA's watchful Sauron eye:

1. Tennessee (courtesy of Lane Kiffin; no infractions committed since Dooley's arrival)
2. West Virginia (courtesy of Rich Rodriguez)
3. Michigan (courtesy of Rich Rodriguez; see a pattern?)
4. Miami (maybe. I didn't read the article, but I'm wanting to say I saw a headline to that effect.)

Am I missing anyone?

Hurry Up, October 2nd

Baseball fans often support the superiority of their sport by pointing out a miserable loss one night is quickly avenged the next, due to the series tradition of playing the same team almost endlessly each week. And there's something to be said for a system that doesn't allow ugly losses to fester into full-fledged mental disorders.

"I can't stop thinking about it," receiver Chris Rainey said. "I think about it every day. ... We got embarrassed. We looked like a high school team out there. And every time they show the video, it's like, 'Dang, was that us for real?'"

That's less Swamp Fever and more Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Their thirst for revenge and Alabama's pre-season top spot is just one more reason this might be the best season yet.

(PS- God bless Chris Low for including Tennessee on the list of Florida's difficult road games. That was sweet.)

Program Profile: Kansas State

Since 1896 (Big 12)
Colors: Royal Purple
Mascot: Wildcats

In nearly a century of play, the Jayhawks had won only three hundred games. Things turned around with a vengeance in 1991. Since then they’ve appeared in eleven consecutive bowls, had six top-ten finishes, and even passed through a season unscathed. This century hasn’t been quite so kind, but you can’t sneeze at them yet.

In 1969 the music building burned down and they lost all the sheet music there, except the Wabash Cannonball, which was in the band director’s briefcase. So that Saturday they played nothing but the Wabash Cannonball. “Every man a Wildcat” used to be a popular slogan, but the feminists killed it in the ‘70’s, so they’re stuck with more generic slogans like, “Purple Pride”. They play Kansas in the “Sunflower Showdown”. Apparently they also have a “Harley Day” every season in which people can ride motorcycles around the field. Classy. And if you, like Kevin Federline, feel like the full name is too much, shorten it to K-State.

The origin of the symbols isnt' half as exciting as Harley Day. A coach just picked Willie the Wildcat and a special committee picked Royal Purple. Exciting, huh?

Program Profile: Iowa State

Since 1892 (Big Ten)
Colors: Cardinal and Gold
Mascot: Cyclone

A middlin’ Big Twelve team. But its supporters are willing to risk life and limb. The stadium is named after Jack Trice who played his first game in 1923. The opponent was Minnesota, and he suffered a broken collarbone toward the beginning of the game. He continued to play, but another hit killed him. In 2005 a tornado touched down the day of the Buffalo game; the Cyclones appropriately ended up winning that game. Then there was the time in 1959 when the field phones were tested before the Missouri game, and it turned out the teams could hear each other. The problem was fixed before game time, but since then the winner of the game has received the Telephone Trophy. ISU is behind in the Cy-Hawk trophy series against instate rival Iowa. But that’s ok when you’ve got something pretty as the All-American Grove, a walk of three hundred trees honoring past student athletes.

So this is one of those teams that has a double mascot. Visually, they’re represented by Cy, a Cardinal. But their actual mascot is the Cyclone. See, in 1895 there were more cyclones than usual in Iowa. That same year, ISU upset Northwestern, so the next day’s headline was “Struck by a Cyclone.” Cardinal and Gold, however, has no story.

Program Profile: Indiana

Big Ten (since 1887)
Colors: Cream and Crimson
Mascot: Hoosiers

Here’s a team that doesn’t do much of anything on the field, although they do fight for such classy items as the Old Brass Spittoon and the Old Oaken Bucket (against Michigan State and Purdue, respectively). They’ve got no personality or anything to set them apart them apart from the lovable losers. And they touch a big ol’ rock, just like the Clemson folks. And Lee Corso used to coach them. No wonder no one cares.

In fact, no one cares so much they can’t figure out what a Hoosier is. The best anyone can tell is it’s a folklore term. Equally, no excuses are made for the choice of Cream and Crimson.